The memory has me holding her tighter, and I take a few minutes to let it sink in that I have Carina in my arms.
When some clarity starts to return to my mind, I push her backward and lock eyes with her. Needing to make dead sure she’s Carina, I ask, “When is your birthday?”
“June nineteenth.”
The same day as Carina.
“What do you remember of that night?” I ask.
Haven shakes her head. “You falling over me. Gunshots.” She lowers her gaze to my chest and brushes her fingers over the scar. “I remember being picked up while you were shot. I was carried out of the room.” She closes her eyes, and I can see she’strying to remember more. “I think my brother was lying on the bed? My mother was face down on the carpet in the hallway?”
That’s exactly how things were.
There’s no doubt in my mind she’s Carina.
“What happened afterward?” I ask the question that’s been torturing me for close to two decades.
“I think I remember men standing around me, their voices angry. I was terrified and kept crying.”
I frame her cheeks, and it has her opening her eyes.
“And then?” I whisper.
“I don’t remember anything after that.” Her gaze locks with mine. “My earliest memory after the attack is of my dad teaching me English.”
“Your dad?” I growl, unspeakable rage shooting through me like a missile hellbent on destroying the entire fucking world. “He wasn’t your father! Your real dad was killed, and the Romanos kidnapped you. I’m going to fucking rip every last one of them apart with my bare hands.”
“Leo,” she whimpers, quickly pulling away from me and moving backward. “You’re scaring me.”
Now that I finally have her, I can’t stand any distance between us.
I dart forward and grab hold of her again, locking her to my chest with all my strength.
No one will ever take her from me again.
“Leo,” she sobs as she presses her hands against my sides. “You’re hurting me.”
Just as quickly as I grabbed her, I let her go. I move backward until I hit the doorjamb. My hand slaps against my heart, right over the tattoo.
I gasp for air as I try to find a way to calm down, but there are too many emotions.
Overwhelming relief, destructive rage, and a frantic need to never let her out of my sight.
It takes a few minutes before I calm down enough to think straight again. “Sorry. I’m struggling to process everything.”
“I understand,” she whispers before she crawls closer. She comes to sit beside me and leans back against the wall. “Let’s take a moment to catch our bearings.”
“My bearings are fucked,” I mutter before letting out a sound that’s something between a sob and a chuckle. Suddenly, another thought hits, and it flays my soul raw. “Cazzo.” I climb to my feet and stagger away from Haven. “Gesù Cristo!”
“Leo?” I hear her come after me, and it has me breaking out in a run. Halfway down the stairs, I grab hold of the banister and fling my body over the side.
“Leo!” Haven’s scream echoes through the mansion.
I land on my feet and dart forward again. When I run out onto the veranda, I keep going, my shirt flapping around me.
My breaths saw over my lips, and as the crippling thought digs its claws into me, I come to a stop, a shout tearing from my chest.
I destroyed her life twice.
