Compulsion—it’s a sensation I’ve grown to accept. It rarely frustrates me like it used to when I was growing up. This instance doesn’t just frustrate me, it makes me furious because I don’t understand it at all. This need doesn’t align with any of my usual strictures. A compulsion like this would bring chaos rather than order. It’s completely illogical.
Is that how Sante felt all those years in Sicily?
My entire body shudders.
I can only hope it’s a passing fixation that time will erode into nothing. I won’t be seeing her again, and knowing me, I’m bound to hyperfixate on something new eventually.
The first thing I need to do is toss the damn hair tie.
I force my fingers to relax and stare at the pink fabric bearing her scent, then I return it to my pocket.
I’ll throw it away tomorrow. Maybe by then I’ll feel less attached.
The same way I might feel less attached to my own fingers—it’s not going to happen.
Fuck.
CHAPTER 3
DANIKA
Mom,Gran, and I live in the same apartment I grew up in nestled in a neighborhood known for the predominant presence of Eastern European immigrants. Gran’s parents came over from Slovakia and settled nearby. They never left the area, and now, it’s the only home I’ve ever known.
The location isn’t ideal from an investment standpoint, considering the area is unofficially run by the Russian mob, but I still love the community. Gran believes corruption is a natural part of life. In her opinion, it doesn’t matter where we live—someone of power will always lord over everyone else. At least here, we have extended family and a community that supports one another. I can’t really say since I’ve never lived anywhere else, and I never wanted to because leaving would mean being alone.
As I open our apartment door, I have to face the fact that my time here may be at an end.
Dread fills my body like wet sand, weighing down my every movement. Things could still change, but for now, it’s not looking good for me. I’m either shackled to a psycho killer, or I live on the run and pray my family doesn’t end up hurt as aresult. Both options suck, yet at the moment, I don’t see any other alternative.
“Where have you been? I thought you were just going to the park for an hour. I was ready to send out a search party.” Mom has always been a worrier. Normally, I’d laugh off her concern and tell her not to exaggerate, but today, I can hardly summon a sliver of a smile to reassure her.
“Something else came up,” I offer vaguely, unsure if I should tell her what happened. I debated about it the whole way home and am still no closer to knowing what would be best.
Silly me, I should have known I’d have no say in the matter.
Mom’s eyes narrow as she stalks closer. “What’s happened? Something’s wrong.”
Gran does her best to twist in her seat on the couch to look back at us. “What are you talking about, Petra? What’s happened?”
“I don’t know, Ma. Dani hasn’t told me yet, but something’s not right. She’s all pale.” She brings her hand to my forehead like I’m five years old. “You getting sick?” Her concern for me is so touching that it topples the flimsy dam I’ve erected to hold back my turbulent emotions.
My chin quivers, and my breathing hitches with the clawing need to let out a sob. I don’t want to worry them, but there’s no way to hide this. I have to tell them.
“One of Biba’s men took me to see him.” My voice is no more than a whisper, a sliver of sound escaping past the fear constricting my throat.
Another breath catches, this one more pronounced than the last.
My mom’s face hardens to stone. “What did that man do to you?”
“Petra,” Gran scolds. “Can’t you see she’s already upset?” She lumbers up off the sofa and joins us. “Come here, sweet girl. Giveme a hug and tell us what happened.” Her familiar arms circle me, shredding my defenses. Tears pour like a summer rain down my cheeks as the sobs finally take over.
Mom encircles us both in her fierce hold. “Thatbastard. Who does he think he is, walking away all those years ago, then suddenly waltzing back into your life? Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I’m not afraid of him like everyone else around here. You tell me where he’s hiding, and I’ll put him in his place.”
“Momma, no,” I sniffle, lifting my blotchy face to look at her pleadingly. “He already threatened to hurt you if I don’t do what he’s asking.”
Outrage flashes gold in her brown eyes. “Whatexactlyis he making you do?”
I hear the words in my head and know they will be atomic when I drop them.
