“I promise you, no one wants to ambush you, Joey. Marianne is in the kitchen, but she’s working.” Kasia wrapped an assuring arm around their waist, and they allowed themself to be led in.
Dinner was relaxed and calm, and Joey allowed themself to relax in good company. But they couldn’t help looking toward the kitchen door. How was Marianne doing? Who was looking after Denny tonight?For fuck’s sake. I can’t have it both ways.
Kasia leaned across as they finished their main courses. “If you want to have a quick chat, I’m sure Marianne could spare a few minutes.”
Joey threw her what they hoped was an angry glare. “Can we leave it for tonight? I’ll call her tomorrow, I promise.”
Kasia shrugged. “She’s got the day off. You could arrange to meet up.”
Doc nodded. “When we’ve been to the hospital, you can come back and take Marianne and Denny out for a picnic. Have they been to Inishkyle yet?”
Joey swung around to Doc. “Please stop planning cozy dates for us.” They stood. “I appreciate your concern, all of you. But I need to sort this out in my own way.” They strode to the bathroom and splashed water on their face for a minute until they felt calmer. Their friends meant well, but they couldn’t be pushed into seeing Mari without having thought through exactly what they wanted to say.
They dried their face and took a long breath as they stared at the mirror.Just go out, thank them for the meal and the company, and get out of there. The walk home will give me time to plan what I’ll say to Mari.
They pushed open the door and hurried past the kitchen entrance but slowed when they heard Mari’s voice from inside. Her even, capable tone as she directed her staff made Joey want to cry. As they registered her voice getting closer, all thoughts of acting like a normal person evaporated, and Joey turned and made a sprint for the back door out into the grounds of the Waterside.
They jogged toward the gate, taking the shoreline to be unseen from the restaurant windows. As they passed the cottage where Marianne had stayed, where they’d shared their first kiss, they wondered if they should ever have started this journey. Was there truly a way they could find some version of a future withMari? Or was it a hopeless fantasy? They’d certainly never find out if they kept running away.
THIRTY-FIVE
The sightof Queen Maedbh approaching the quay filled Marianne with a variety of emotions. She’d missed Joey so much it hurt. But their avoidance of her since her return had caused pain, too. She’d wanted to be there for them while their dad was ill, and it didn’t feel right that Joey could walk away from everything they’d built together. She’d been planning to walk down to the cottage as soon as she arrived, but the text from Joey asking her to give them space had thrown her. She wanted to respect Joey’s wishes, but it hadn’t felt right. Then the days passed, and the more she’d worried Joey wanted to end what they had.
She’d come back to the island with such optimism after her meeting with Imelda, determined to find a way she could make Inishderry her base. But she couldn’t do any of that without discussing things with Joey and making sure it was what they wanted, too. And the week of silence didn’t bode well. She’d just come out of a relationship with communication difficulties. She couldn’t do that again.
When Joey had finally called this morning and asked if she wanted to go out on the boat with Denny, she’d initially been filled with joy. Then doubt had set in. What if Joey wanted totell her they were over? They’d said they needed time alone, but then they’d rocked up at the Waterside last night with Kasia and Tierney and the GP from the mainland, Doctor Scott. She’d watched from the pass, until Connor had asked if everything was okay on the floor, and she’d shaken herself and got back to work, wondering if Joey would drop in to say hi. By the time she’d had a moment to look again, Joey was gone.
When she worked, everything seemed controllable. The kitchen was a microcosm of life, but one where she was in charge of everything. Was she making the wrong choice in de-prioritizing her career for a fisher who wouldn’t talk to her? It wasn’t just about Joey, she reminded herself. She wanted Denny to have the simple, carefree childhood the island children enjoyed.
Denny brought her back to the present as he lurched closer to the edge of the quay. “Joey!” He turned to her, a wide smile spreading across his little face. “Joey back.”
Joey hadn’t gone anywhere, but in his tiny world it must’ve seemed strange that Joey had been absent from their lives since they’d got back to the island. It made her wonder again if this was the right thing.
She gripped his hand and held tight. “Joey’s coming, sweetpea. We have to stay away from the edge, remember?”
“Dange-us.” Denny stepped back and pointed at the drop to the water.
“That’s right. It’s dangerous to get too close.”
She hoped that wasn’t true of her own situation. But she couldn’t help the smile that broke across her face as Joey pulled alongside the quay and threw a rope onto the stone surface.
Marianne tried to grab it one-handed, and wrap it around the post, but Joey jumped onto the quay and took it from her. When the boat was secure, they turned. A half-smile played on their lips. “Hey.”
Marianne searched their eyes for any clue how they were feeling, but the crystal blue was as deep and still as the waters behind them. Her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest.
“I missed you.”
The moment was broken by Denny launching himself at Joey’s legs. “Joey! Go boat?”
Joey took a step back at the impact of the knee-high tornado and grinned as they crouched and wrapped Denny in a hug. “Hey, shrimp, what’ve you been up to?”
Denny squirmed free of the hug and pulled Joey backward by the hand. “Boat, now.”
Joey scrambled to pivot from their position to follow Denny without breaking their grip on him and ended up sprawled on the stones of the quay. Marianne laughed and scooped up Denny with one arm, then she held out a hand to help Joey up. The moment their fingers touched, that familiar tingle of love and security filled her. Nothing made her feel the way being with Joey did. Not recognition as a chef, not celebrity. This was real. She only needed a moment in Joey’s company to realize how true that was. But did Joey feel it, too?
Joey stood and took Denny from her arms. They straddled the gap between Queen Maedbh and the dock and held her hand as she boarded, following her down the steps.
Inside the cabin was a new structure that appeared to be made from an old highchair. It was roped securely to the wall and made the small space even more cramped than usual.
