I’ve been alone for a long time. I’m not used to checking in with someone or getting permission before I act. When I want to investigate something, I investigate it.
“Kat.”
I nod once, a jerky motion. “Fine. I promise.”
He gazes at me for the longest moment, and when he kisses me, it's soft and sweet. “I am trying to protect you, Kitty cat. I can’t lose you.”
“Because you’ll howl at the sky,” I quip.
He doesn’t crack a smile. “Because it would destroy me.”
Every time he looks at me, I see something more in his gaze. Something soft and warm, and that terrifies me.
Love doesn’t scare me.
It’s the dependence. Soon, if I’m not already at that point, I will need him.
He will become necessary to my happiness, and I never want anyone to have that power over me. Before my family left, I talked to my mom about Aren.
I said, "I don't know what to do. I think I love him, but it would gut me if he hurts me again."
"What does your heart say?" she asked me.
I smiled when I wasn’t in a smiling mood. "I want love without the pain. The good without the fear that it will all go away again. The attachment without the strings."
She hugged me and said, “The fear is part of it, sweetie. It’s why we hold on so tight to the people we love and why we fight so hard to protect them. You can’t have love without fear. Trust takes time. If you want a future with him, it’s going to take time to build.”
She’s right.
“I won’t go near the feral,” I promise Aren.
He kisses my forehead. “I have to get back to the office to work. Why don’t you hang out with Leo in the schoolroom? We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Sure.”
20
AREN
Back at my desk to deal with the emails I’ve been avoiding, I stare into space.
I watch my emails pile up, and I have no interest in replying to them.
My mind is on the feral in the silver cage. A problem I have to find a resolution to when there is none. It’s a problem that has existed longer than I’ve been alive.
What else is there to do with a feral other than cage it in silver or kill it?
The cage wasn’t my idea.
It wasn’t even my dad's. But it served as a temporary solution to hold an out-of-control feral.
Temporary became permanent, at least until I recognized that keeping them in it wasn’t right.
Killing them was a way to prevent the out-of-control bitten humans from continuing to kill and risking exposing the existence of shifters.
Every week, there are more ferals I have to cage or kill.
The task feels endless.
