“Mate, mate.” I cringe at how loud she is. “Can I lick him? I’mma lick him, lets lick him,” she doesn’t give me a chance to answer. Her joy bubbles over, and she tackles him playfully to the ground.
He laughs as we tumble, and a new voice echoes in my head, startling me as Zayn ruffles her fur.“Hello, Luna,”Zayn’s voice resonates within our shared mental space, warm and amused.
Confused and still trying to navigate this flood of new sensations, I ask Luna, “How… how is he in our head?”
His laughter fills the bizarre connection, a sound that makes Luna’s heart leap.“Because we’re mates,” he explains. His mental touch is as familiar as if it has always meant to be there, kind of like a pack mindlink, but more. I can sense the emotion behind the feeling and his tone makes me wonder how strongly he feels me since I carry his mark.
He chuckles, seemingly unfazed by her antics, and wraps his arms around her, brushing her fur with gentle hands. I can feel his contentment and warmth radiating through the bond we share.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to make her stop. I feel like I am floating in here,”I shriek before begging her to stop because I feel like I have no control over her; I can’t feel my limbs or feel anything like I’m merely consciousness floating inside a vessel.
“Once you bond with your wolf, you’ll be able to control her more, feel her completely and her you. They are just a less filtered version of us; the human counterpart merges over the first few days with the wolf side. You’ll fuse, but right now, I know it feels odd,”Zayn explains.
“Why is she scratching you,” I ask, his skin bleeding as her claws rake his flesh.
“She recognizes me, and she wants to play with Zarek,” he tells me when she stops and leaps up, darting through the trees, the moon casting fleeting shadows on the forest floor. My human consciousness, still very much present, yells in panic,“Slow down, Luna! We’re going to hit a tree!”I clench my eyes shut, or hers.
“If you close our eyes, we will,”she shrieks back, and I cringe, opening them, not realizing I closed hers too, as everything zip past quickly.
Luna just laughs, a wild, joyous sound that Zayn echoes.“Trust her,”Zayn advises his voice both in my head and echoing around us.“She knows what she’s doing. Trust yourself. She is only another extension of you.”He laughs.
As Luna races through the forest, every leap and bound fills her with more excitement, and I begin to relax into the ride. The fear subsides, replaced by an exhilarating freedom I’ve never known. Zayn’s presence, both as Zarek beside us and in my mind, steadies me, his confidence in Luna bolstering my own.
Until she decides she wants to go swimming, it’s damn freezing.“No, Luna, it’s cold,” I shriek, anticipating what she is about to do when Zarek’s huge form tackles us. He nuzzles her neck, shaking his head, but doesn’t latch on to hurt her. And I realize he is playing with her and distracting her from the river when he lies on her, squashing us in the dirt. All I see is Zarek’s black fur as she bucks, trying to get out from under him whenhe relaxes further, flattening himself on top of her. His laughter rings as loud as her expletives as she curses him out.
“Luna, shift back,”Zayn laughs as she bites Zarek’s paw. He shakes his paw like she is a naughty pup before plopping his paw on her head.
“Please stop shaking your head. You’re making me queasy,”I tell her as she keeps fighting to get out from under him while trying to bite the paw on her head. I giggle as Zarek growls at her, pinning her down. She finally gives up and settles into a purring heap beneath him, and Zarek rests his head on hers. They remain like that for a while; she tries to get out from under him when she thinks he isn’t paying attention, but he moves or adjusts his position. His patience with my wolf is astonishing, considering she is already annoying me.
“You need to remember this is all new to your wolf. Zarek has had time to adjust, and we are merged. Think of it like she has been in confinement and finally set free,”Zayn tells me, and Zarek seems to hum in agreement.
“Great, so she is like a pup?”I huff, earning a growl from her.
“Luna will settle. Zarek was the same when I first got my wolf, except he insisted on peeing on every damn tree around the packhouse like he could claim them.”Zayn laughs, and Zarek snarls at him.“Don’t tell her that!” Zarek snaps angrily at him. Zayn just laughs while I secretly hope Luna doesn’t pee on him thinking she can claim him that way now that he has put the idea in her head.
Eventually, she tires herself out, and Zarek rolls off her and onto his back. He grunts because the moment he does, she is attacking him, wanting to play.
She pounces on him, trying to get to his neck, and I realize she is trying to claim him. She grows annoyed when he doesn’t allow her to. Zarek shifts beneath us, leaving her no choiceexcept to shift back. “Shift back, Luna, and let Cleo forward,” Zayn demands.
Luna huffs, licking his cheek before doing as she is told. The shift back isn’t nearly as bad as the initial shift, and I find myself straddling Zayn. He pulls me down on him, wrapping his arms around me. Gazing up at him, everything slams back to me, making it all even more complicated. Zayn was right; I am his mate, but I am engaged to another and don’t see a way out of it without losing everything my pack has and without losing the last piece of my mother.
That doesn’t stop the nagging guilt I now feel. I can’t imagine how hard the past few days have been for Zayn.
Now that I know Zayn is my mate, I can’t imagine him being away from me. The guilt is like a heavy weight on my chest, knowing I have caused him pain by being engaged to Boyd. The thought of him leaving tears at my heart, and I hope my father comes up with a solution that will allow me to be with Zayn, that mate bonds won’t be ignored.
My father said if Zayn were my mate, he would be able to stop the arranged marriage with Boyd. But what would that mean for my mother’s pack besides falling into the hands of Alpha Dane? It’s a difficult decision and one I cannot make on my own.
I swallow down the guilt, knowing I must continue pretending that Zayn isn’t my mate while my father works on finding a way out of this marriage treaty. Yet every time I see Zayn, it becomes harder to hide the truth. I can’t deny the pull I feel toward him. I don’t think my wolf will accept Boyd and I know I will never reject Zayn. Unfortunately, it also gives me another view of my father. There is no way his mate bond to Linda would allow him to be with my mother, so surely he won’t expect me to choose Boyd.
I can see the hurt in his eyes whenever he looks at me, and it breaks my heart. I know that I have to keep up appearances for the sake of both our packs, and I know he can feel my guilt.
“Don’t you start crying; we can worry about everything else later,” he tells me. I nod slowly, and I am about to apologize. Then, without warning, he tilts my chin up with his fingers and looks deeply into my eyes. His silver gaze burns with an intensity I can only perceive as longing when he leans down and presses his lips to mine. It’s a slow, soft kiss at first, tender.
It quickly escalates, though; Zayn’s hands roam over my back, digging into my flesh as he devours my mouth and pulls me closer. His taste is addictive; warm and spicy, like cinnamon mixed with something wild and forest-y that belongs only to him.
I moan into the kiss as heat pools low in my stomach. Our kiss becomes more frantic, our bodies pressed tightly against each other as we both struggle to get closer. Zayn’s touch ignites a fire within me I never knew existed. I moan again, my body responding to him in ways I can’t control.
He breaks away from our kiss, his lips brushing against mine as he whispers, “You are so fucking beautiful.” His words send shivers down my spine, and I can feel his desire for me pulsing through our mate bond.
