***
The first night, I drank myself blind at some dive bar downtown. It reminded me of the places I used to frequent before Elena came into my life, before I started coming home to her, looking forward to seeing her. The whiskey burned down my throat, and I welcomed the sensation, draining glass after glass until the bartender cut me off and called me a cab.
I didn't go home that night. The truth was, I didn’t want to be around Elena because being around her meant one of two things. We would have fought, or she would have tried to convince me of something I couldn’t believe.
I checked into a hotel instead and passed out drunk. When I woke up the next morning, I thought of Adriana. Then, Elena. Adriana. Elena. Adriana. Elena.
I was such a fucking mess that I blew off work that day. I drank again, drank myself stupid, because when I was drunk, I didn’t have to think.
Had it all been a lie?
The third morning, I forced myself to go to work, though I wasn’t of much use to anyone. At night, I drank until I couldn't see straight, then passed out in the same hotel room, my phone off, ignoring the world.
I thought about Elena constantly. I hated that I missed her. I hated that she would lie for her family.
The next day at work, I was surprised to see Carlo and Dino waiting with somber expressions at my office.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, pausing at the door.
“You look like shit.” Dino gave me a once-over.
“Fuck off,” I growled, walking over to my chair. “Tell me why you’re here.”
Carlo and Dino exchanged cautious looks. “Elena called,” Carlo said at last. “Why haven't you been home in days?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, and motioned at the door. But of course, none of them left.
“You're scaring everyone, brother, including Larissa. She’s been worried sick,” Dino said softly.
“Tell Larissa I’m fine,” I said.
But my brothers refused to leave, forcing an answer out of me.
“Elena had some papers,” I said finally when they badgered me for fifteen minutes straight. “About Adriana.”
Carlo leaned forward, suddenly intent. “What kind of papers?”
And then, it all came out. About how she told the Lebedevs we thought they killed Adriana, and they started digging into a newspaper article on her murder, what I found in Larissa’s drawers. I didn’t hold back because the truth was, I felt utterly alone, and they were all I had left.
By the time I was done speaking, they were both looking shell-shocked.
“Shit.” Carlo’s eyes widened.
I nodded.
“You never told us all this was going on,” Dino commented. “That Larissa told the Lebedevs our suspicions.”
“I wanted to protect you… If things got ugly.”
“So, this whole time, your anger towards them…it was never about Gio taking Larissa, was it?” Carlo asked. “It had always been about Larissa.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t.”
“So, do you believe Elena?” Dino asked carefully.
I looked him dead in the eye. “Of course not. You knew Adriana. She would never have done such a thing. I will not allow her reputation to be tarnished, now that she’s gone. It's obviously something Elena’s family cooked up to protect themselves.”
There was a tense, momentary silence in the air.
