Natalya inspected her with narrowed eyes, clearly doubtful. Then she held out her hand. “Touch me.”
“I thought you didn’t want to influence me.”
“I don’t. And I need to make sure I’m not.”
Hesitantly, Evie took her hand, intertwining her fingers with Natalya’s. There was no sensation other than the feel of her soft skin.
“I’m going to increase the intensity of my touch slowly. You’re going to push against it, and let me know when it becomes uncomfortable.”
Evie nodded, though she didn’t feel very confident. She wasn’t sure how to push against it at all. In the Second Circle, she had realized the manipulation and, in doing that, was able to make the fear dissipate. She did the same now, concentrating on the singular thought that whatever sensation Natalya produced was a constructed thing, and it couldn’t affect her.
She kept readying herself for something to happen. When over a minute had passed, she glanced up at Natalya.
“Are you going to start soon?”
Natalya frowned. “I’m doing it, Evie.”
“Really?” She looked at their joined hands. “I don’t feel anything.”
Natalya squeezed her a little harder. A few seconds later, there was a pinching sensation in her hand. It was uncomfortable but not painful.
“Now it’s there. Like a pins-and-needles feeling.”
Natalya let her go, looking so shocked that Evie couldn’t help but smile. It was funny seeing someone as gorgeous as Natalya look off-kilter.
“That touch was stronger than the one I used on Stefano at Varro’s estate. You barely felt it. How?”
“I don’t know. I just reminded myself it wasn’t real.” It felt like a stupid answer. It made Evie want to go on the offensive again. “Was it the same strength as when you tried to scare me in theSecond Circle? Doing that was messed up, Natalya. You didn’t want to talk, so you just decided to scare me off instead.”
“I know.” Natalya looked down, ashamed. “I thought it would be best if you weren’t near me. That way, I couldn’t manipulate you. I couldn’t use you again.”
“You didn’tuseme,” Evie said, sneering through the sentence.
“It feels like it to me. I went too far with you. In the studio, I demanded too much. Would you still have wanted it if I had given you time to think?”
Evie took a moment to consider. She’d thought about their time in the dance studio nearly every hour since it happened. She’d had so many thoughts about it and just as many confused feelings.
The only regret she felt was of the unplaced, guilt-ridden variety because she wasn’t sure if she’d done something to hurt Natalya. It was never about actually doing it.
“I would,” Evie said, though she couldn’t quite keep eye contact. “I didn’t plan to want it. I was mad at you. Still am, honestly. Though now it’s for different reasons.”
“What reasons?”
“Before, it was like I was being surveilled. With you sensing everything I’m feeling. And then your questions the morning after we—” Evie bit her lip. “But the first, you can’t help. And the second, you did to try to keep me safe. But ignoring me and then trying to scare me… That was something else.”
“I’m sorry I did that. I can’t take it back, but I promise I won’t try to influence you like that again.”
The words made the anger vanish. She had always kept her promises. Natalya had never lied to her.
“I felt guilty. In the studio, after you left,” Evie admitted. When Natalya stayed silent, she continued. “You flinched when I touched your dress. I thought I did something wrong.”
Natalya looked a little impressed that Evie had noticed. Then her face fell. She seemed to be considering something difficult. Like she was struggling with a major decision, though Evie had no idea what it could be.
Evie didn’t like seeing her that way. Her face pained, and her posture stiff. This wasn’t the regal woman who had knocked on the bedroom door. This was someone who had held a great weight on her shoulders for too many years, and wondered if whatever she was carrying would break if she gave it to someone else.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Evie said. “I don’t need to know. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. I just don’t want to do something you don’t like. That’s why I mentioned it.”
Natalya’s posture relaxed as she sighed and put a hand on Evie’s cheek. It brought the comforting sensation of flowing, humming warmth she’d become so used to. She didn’t push against it. She’d always liked it.
