“Beautiful.” Natalya softly kissed her lips, pressing around the gag ball still in Evie’s mouth. She was still salivating. Neither of them cared. “It’s over. You took your punishment. I’m proud of you, darling.”
Natalya slowly withdrew from her. Her fingers in Evie’s hair were gentle now. Soft and calming. Combined with the praise in her words, it made Evie feel like she was floating. Like she was weightless.
It made her feel happy.
Chapter 40
Natalya ran a fingertip over Evie’s face. Her nose and brow. Her closed eyes and her freckled cheeks. Over her chin that had a small scar now, and her mouth still red from lipstick. Asleep on a couch in the Second Circle, nestled in Natalya’s arms, Evie was more beautiful than Natalya had ever seen her.
After the scene, Natalya had removed the gag and undone the restraints. She held Evie, made her drink some water, and whispered soothing words that Evie only caught in gist. She wasn’t all there. She was in subspace, making her body heavy and her mind slow.
When Evie fell asleep, Natalya carried her back to the main hall, wrapped in a blanket. She’d sat on her throne, holding Evie and pushing her sleep deeper with gentle strokes of her fingers whenever someone wanted to talk to Natalya.
Many did. Many wanted to see who had the adoration of their harsh Lady of Lust. She cared about none of them.
Hours later, when the Second Circle was empty save for a select few in the private rooms, Natalya moved Evie to one of the couches. They were lying down, side by side, so Natalya could be near her. Just hold her. Watch her sleep.
Natalya had never desired sleep. When she had to do it, it was because she was injured and needed to heal. It was dangerous for her. It left her vulnerable to those seeking the marks of a greater fiend.
With Evie, she wanted it. Natalya wanted to listen to her soft breathing, feel her drift off, andsleepwith her. Be at ease. Relax.
It was such a strange thing. For a creature of compulsion to crave calm like this.
“You look comfortable,” Aleksander said, passing the couch with a groggy-looking Lily under one arm. He’d returned to the Second Circle with Lily in tow, aiming for a private room. Apparently, the little flower had been badly behaved.
Natalya suspected Lily had something to do with Evie’s public show of rudeness. She wouldn’t thank Lily for it. But she wouldn’t be mad either.
“Go away.” She didn’t look at Aleksander. She just kept looking at Evie.
“Yes, dear.” When even that didn’t make her look up at him, Aleksander chuckled. “I’m glad she’s yours, Natalya.”
Hers.Was she that? Maybe in certain aspects. Not in others.
Natalya knew she didn’t want to let Evie go. She didn’t want Evie to be unsafe ever again. And even though she’d said Evie needed her own life, away from this world, Natalya didn’t want it to happen. She wanted Eviehere. With her. Always.
In just a few days, they would move on Varro’s estate with the intention to catch him off guard in the day hours and kill him. With his death, Evie would be safe. She could take her new identity and go anywhere. Live a normal life far away from the Courts and the monsters within.
If she stayed, it would be as Natalya’s, and she wouldn’t be safe being that. It was a position that brought risk with it. To want her in that way was heedless. It was dangerous. It was selfish.
None of it mattered. Not when all Natalya could think of was how much she loved this wonderful woman who was so careful with her. Who was so brave and strong. The feeling filled her so completely that it was eventually overtaken by fear.
What if Evie didn’t feel anything like that for her? Just gratefulness and some degree of caring? Maybe she’d pretend to feel more. It would ruin Natalya to find that out. But she couldn’t fathom being without Evie. She’d never been as happy as when Evie was near her. Never been so calm.
Natalya needed to know. She needed Evie to know.
As the final few people cleared out of the Second Circle, Natalya remained. She stayed there, watching Evie sleep, not wanting her to wake. It was easy to be with her like this. When she was at rest in Natalya’s arms. When Natalya wasn’t asking anything of her.
What Natalya wanted to share wasn’t even a question. It was just a fact. But it required a response, nonetheless.
Thinking about how Evie might react made a cowardly, until-then-unknown part of Natalya wish time would stop so she would never have to let Evie go.
Evie woke slowly and reluctantly. Strong, warm arms held her, and she was wrapped in a blanket and the scent of lavender. She nestled into it. She was comfortable. At ease. She didn’t want to leave that feeling yet.
It was the quiet that eventually made her stir out of sleep. The last thing she remembered was being in the private room. Theheavy music of the Second Circle had been muted by the walls, but it had still been there. Now it was silent.
She looked up, finding Natalya smiling softly at her. Her arms were around Evie, holding her close so she could use one hand to play with her hair.
“How long was I out?” Evie looked around, recognizing the main hall of the Second Circle. It was empty and quiet. They were on a couch, and they were alone.
