But Lily was smiling knowingly, and Evie was not only hot and bothered. She was hot and so fucking frustrated.
Evie put her face in her hands and groaned. Lily laughed.
“That bad, huh?”
“Worse.” Evie’s voice was muffled against her hands. “She’s being so damn sweet about it too. It doesn’t exactly help.”
“How long?”
Evie looked up at Lily, grimacing with annoyance. “Not since she woke up. So twenty-five days. Thereabouts.”
Lily whistled. “I assume it’s not due to lack of trying on your part?”
Evie had done everything short of putting a sign around her neck reading, ‘Please fuck me, Mistress.’ Not that it would work if she did. Despite Evie’s near-pleading, Natalya had kept all their time together strictly nonsexual. It produced such a constant ache in her stomach Evie feared it would turn into a damn ulcer.
“It’s not me, it’s her. She’s scared.”
The word choice surprised Lily. “Natalya? Scared?”
“Maybe not scared, just… apprehensive, I guess.” Evie hugged herself, hunching a little. “I get it. Somewhat, at least. I was pretty shaken after the whole thing with Sam.”
Lily was quiet at that. She’d only met Sam once, but her anger was still obvious. Though not as obvious as Blake’s. When Blake had seen how messed up Flea was, she’d apparently looked like she wanted to go on a murder spree.
Evie hadn’t seen Sam since that day. She hadn’t left the high-rise either. Knowing Varro’s men were near, Evie had quit her dance classes too, meaning she didn’t leave the building anymore. That hurt as much as the friendship with Sam being revealed as a farce.
Evie continued. “But it’s not just me. It’s Natalya too. The last time we were together was a lot. For me and for her.”
“A lot, how?”
A lot in the sense that Evie hadn’t been able to walk properly for two days afterward.
“Natalya had just woken up, and she didn’t have as much control as she thought she should have. I think she’s nervous about slipping like that again. That she’s going to hurt me.”
“Are you afraid of that?”
“No. Not really.” Evie gave Lily a shy smile. “Not in a way I mind, at least.”
Shehadbeen frightened the last time. Too frightened, perhaps, but not in a way that had been paralyzing. Not in a way that had dimmed her desire any. In fact, it had increased it, oddly enough.
While she wasn’t sure she wanted to experience Natalya like that again—mostly because of how guilt-ridden Natalya had been afterward—the memory of that day was one laced with excitement rather than fear. Though it was anxiety-inducingbeing at the mercy of another person, the feeling turned both freeing and intoxicating when that person was someone you trusted. When that person was Natalya.
“Have you told her?” Lily asked.
“Many times.Somany times. And she ensures me it’s not because she doesn’t want to, she just… Sheworries. It’s getting annoying.”
It wasn’t just annoying. It was confusing. Natalya acted so dotingly, solovingly,that it started unwelcome hope in Evie’s mind. Hope of what couldn’t be. It distracted her enough that she forgot what they were, with Evie being just a Purple and Natalya being just her protector.
It was too easy to forget those facts and give in to hope when she held Evie in her arms like she was afraid she would vanish if she let go. When she made Evie laugh and the sound made her eyes shine. When she kissed Evie out of sleep in the morning.
Lily looked to be considering something. A piece of advice that carried risk, perhaps. And some mischief, by the glinting look in her eyes.
“There is something you could do.”
“What?” Evie sounded way too hopeful. Then her shoulders sank. “Is it the kneeling thing? You told me about that, and I tried it already.”
That had been particularly embarrassing. Evie kneeling on the floor, all butbegging, and Natalya had still refused. She’d just held Evie instead, whispering sweet words in her ear.
“Not that. Remember when I got a bit too drunk at the bar for Aleksander’s liking?”
