The kind that keep you up at night?
FaeAtHeart
Yes! Do you have them too?
NotYourAverageJoe19
I do but I don’t mind. I like remembering all the good stuff.
FaeAtHeart
I don’t. The good memories hurt the most. It would be easier if there weren’t so many of them.
NotYourAverageJoe19
I keep hoping one day I won’t be living off of the old memories but making new ones.
14
SYDNEY
It’s been a few days since Nash’s party and Koa’s confession. Is that what it was? A declaration? An apology? I don’t know how to define what's happening between us. All I know is that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
What if it’s true? What if we tried? What if I let my heart win?
I thought maybe hiding out in the chemistry lab and diving into one of my research projects would keep my mind occupied. Instead, I keep drifting back to everything he said. Everything he was asking of me.
Instinct had me wanting to run into his open arms. The boy I’ve loved my entire life wants to be with me.He likes me. It felt like a fever dream. Then my battered and bruised heart reminded me of what happened the last time Koa Mahina led me to believe there was something starting between us.
I can’t do it again. Not when there’s a possibility to have a healthy relationship with someone else. Our story is over. He can say whatever he wants, but I won’t let it happen.
I’m going to focus on my new life in North Carolina and leave everything in the past where it belongs. Nothing goodwill come from a relationship with Koa. All that ever got me was a broken heart.
Thankfully he’s been out of town for games and I haven’t had to see him. He’s sent me a few text messages, but nothing about our conversation in his room. They were random updates about his day. The same type of texts he would send me when he was on the road in high school.
How can he go back to what we were so easily? He was the one who said we couldn't be together. As soon as I heard the word, I froze. I panicked. My heart dropped to my stomach. The only thing I could do was agree with him. So I did and retreated to my bedroom. I avoided him as much as I could that summer.
I look into the microscope and make a few notes on my laptop. This is one of many research assignments I have to wrap up before graduation. I love being in the lab but I’m looking forward to the days when I’m working on my own formulas instead of projects my professor assigned to me.
“I thought I’d find you here. You’ve been avoiding me.” Nash leans his elbows on the long lab table.
“I’ve been busy. There’s a difference.” I glance around the room and note several people have stopped what they're doing to check out my brother.
“So, the fact that I haven’t talked to my sister in four days has nothing to do with Koa taking you up to his room? Or that when you came back downstairs you immediately called for a campus rideshare and left?”
“Nope.” I ignore my brother and continue to log the chemical reactions from my sample on my laptop.
“Do you want to tell me what happened upstairs with Koa?”
“Not particularly. I don’t see how it’s information you need to know. I’m surprised you haven’t already gotten the gossip you’re looking for from your best friend.” I raise an eyebrow.
“Not yet. He’ll come to me when he’s ready.”
“How nice of you to give him space and wait for him to come to you. Too bad I don’t get the same courtesy,” I grumble.
“You’re my sister. I want to make sure you’re okay and I don’t have to kick my best friend’s ass for hurting you.”
“Don’t bloody your knuckles on my behalf.”
