He climbs back up my body, and easily enough, the blunt head of his erection nudges at my entrance. I spread my legs wider, eagerly letting him in.
When we're joined, it feels like nothing else in the world matters, and we lose ourselves to the movement of rocking back and forth, of taking and giving, of showering each other with affection.
Easton doesn't know that my heart is breaking inside me. Easton doesn't know that I plan on being gone soon.
But this is what we need. This will be our final stand, our form of closure.
I know I can't continue our relationship any longer under these circumstances. I know that in order to protect Easton and to protect Jade, I need to step away.
I need to extract myself from the equation so they won't get hurt.
And as we ride the bliss together—my body's holding him tight inside me as he fills me up—I vow to remember this moment for as long as I live.
This is going to be the memory that I let haunt me. This is going to be the moment that I’ll always remember as the one where I truly learned what loving someone meant.
THIRTY-TWO
Easton
Warmth tickles my skin as light bleeds through my closed eyelids, and I stretch in the bed. Hazel is still asleep next to me, and I grin, drifting my hand over her shoulder gently so that I don't disturb her.
Last night was absolutely incredible, and I can't believe how much closer I feel to her after every time we come together like that.
She feels right here, she feels right in my bed, and there's nowhere else in the world I'd like to see her. I also don't want to wake her up.
I could stare at you sleeping forever, Haze. I…ugh…
My head begins to hurt as I remember that this is all supposed to be casual. I know I’m the one who said it, but I have to admit that I did it so I wouldn’t scare her off.
I never actually wanted it.
And that thought is terrifying. It’s not like relationships and I have a good track record. My parents, my sister because of my parents, and even Hazel when we dated before. I’ve got a pretty crappy batting average.
Letting someone in has always seemed like a recipe for disaster. I was never enough for my folks, and that feeling has haunted me all through high school to the military to now.
They called not long ago to remind me how I’m not cut out to raise Jade.
But it was Hazel who was there beside me to lift me back up.
Maybe she’s different? Maybe being with Hazel this time around can be…different.
A loud grumble from my stomach interrupts my thoughts, and the longer I’m awake, the more I’m jonesing for a cup of coffee.
So, as gently as I can, I sneak from the bed and walk over to my closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes to throw on so I can go downstairs.
Coffee is undoubtedly necessary, and I know that Jade is probably sitting at the island with her bowl of cereal, wondering if I'm willing to make pancakes, too.
Once I'm dressed, I head down the stairs and go straight for the kitchen. Surprisingly, I don't see Jade sitting at the counter.
I think nothing of it. Sometimes Jade sleeps in, sure. So, I go about making my coffee.
Still, I get through the entire process and an entire cup of joe, and Jade still hasn't come down. I glance over at the clock.
It's only 7:30, which isn't late by any means, but she's usually up by now.
Curious, I get up from my seat and go back upstairs to Jade's room. I knock lightly on the door. But there is no response.
Gently, I crack the door open and sneak inside the dark room. It only takes me a few moments before I realize that the window near her bed is open.
