After a moment, I lean back, straddling Easton’s waist. He offers me a gentle smile, and that pitter-patter of my heart is going wild again.
“Would you be willing to stay the night with me? Just lay with me here? I don't know if I can go back to sleep. I don't want to have another nightmare.”
Easton hesitates. I can see the question on his face, how he's silently weighing the pros and cons of winding up in bed again, if this is a good idea or not, because we both know it probably isn't.
But then he wraps his arms around me, and I feel safe.
“Of course. I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.”
Several minutes pass, and I still haven't fallen asleep, my brain churning over everything—past, present, and future. I can't shut it off. All I can do is think about what I should or shouldn’t do.
“I can feel how tense you are. It’s like cuddling a wooden plank.”
I laugh, playfully punching Easton in the chest as I lie next to him. “Well, sorry. I’m a little stressed. Obviously.”
“Close your eyes, Hazel. Lean back and don’t think. Don’t speak.”
Confusion and apprehension tumble through me, but Easton eases me back against the pillows and works his way between my legs.
I want to protest, but the notion quickly dies as I watch him lie down on his stomach, reaching for the bottom hem of the oversized t-shirt I’m wearing.
Instead of fighting and rationalizing, instead of being logical and thinking of the future, I just lay back and do as Easton says.
I shut my eyes, and I let my mind go blank, focusing only on the feeling of Easton’s fingers pulling my underwear aside and his tongue finding my pussy.
Silent as I can be, I give myself to the sensations, allowing Easton to pull me out of my head as he eats me out.
There is nothing scary or bad about the way Easton makes my body feel, about the way I feel so connected to him, so…loved.
So I give myself to it. I pretend there isn’t a world outside waiting for us in the morning, and Easton eases me and pleasures me until I come on his tongue.
And in the stillness afterward, I fall asleep in his arms, feeling safe.
TWENTY-TWO
Easton
I slip on my sneakers as I step out of the closet and head down the stairs. Hazel was still asleep in bed when I left her to come to my room and get changed.
My head is buzzing with too many thoughts, too many emotions, and I need to clear it. I need to go for a run.
Before I leave the house, I check in on Jade to make sure she's still sleeping, which she is, sawing logs with her little stuffed cat snuggled against her face.
So, I take this moment to get out and get some fresh air. And hopefully, it'll help me feel better about everything that has been going on with Hazel and me.
I push myself harder and harder with each step, my mind racing as my muscles burn. I’m already working up a good sweat, and I don’t think it’s just because I’m running and it’s hot.
I have no idea what is happening with Hazel right now. Everything that we’ve been doing has been messy and chaotic, and we haven't talked about any of it.
But it's as if an invisible string is pulling me closer to her at every turn, and I can't do anything to stop it. After all these years, she is the sun, and I am a planet stuck in her orbit.
Still, what will happen if all of this ends, and she decides she doesn't want me anymore? I don't think I could handle that. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure it would crush me.
I love having Jade and Hazel as a part of my life. The easy days with them have been some of the best I've had in ages. The swimming pool, the movie nights, the board games.
And if Hazel decides that she doesn't want any of that with me? I don't think I'll ever be able to move on from that.
I would die a bachelor. Not that it would be a terribly bad thing.
