“It’s fine with me,” he said reaching for her. “I’d just be sitting around my house alone anyway, but I understand. You’ve got things to do.”
She knew he was hurt. She saw it on his face and was angry at herself for doing that.
Why was she doubting her decision now?
“I do,” she said. “And you’ve got a team depending on you.”
“Yeah,” he said. “All those people I’ve got to make happy.”
He said it with a forced smile, and she felt terrible. Did she just put more on his shoulders?
40
NOT IN MY CONTROL
“It’s great to see you back on the field,” Gus said ten days later. “Even if it’s only warming up throwing some. Heard you can’t do much other than that for a solid week.”
“Yeah,” Warren said. He was still getting headaches and told the team doctors that. They’d seemed surprised, or maybe they were surprised that he admitted it.
He was told to take it slow and they’d talk again in a few days. He wouldn’t be able to get released until the league’s doctor saw him anyway. They’d said he wasn’t ready for that yet.
Shit, he didn’t think he was even ready for this and had to focus his feet to get on the field today.
All he’d be doing was some light work in the gym and throwing the ball on the field. He wouldn’t be running plays, more like watching on the sidelines and helping the backup with things.
“You’ll be back before you know it,” Gus said. “I’m sure it’s hard.”
“It is,” he said. They didn’t need to know what was so hard on him.
The worry about his head or his relationship.
He hadn’t seen Emma since Thanksgiving, having gone to the game on Sunday to support his team on the sidelines. There was no reason for her to come to it and she hadn’t offered.
They’d had a few calls on video this week but not much more.
She was lost in one of her worlds, and she wasn’t surfacing for air. Not even enough for him to say how much he’d gotten done on the homework she’d given him that she didn’t even know he was working on.
So much so that he tried to draft a scene. It was crap to him, but it felt good to get it out.
Maybe it was therapy in a way. That was how he was thinking of it.
“You’ve got to be sick of everyone asking when you’ll be back,” Gus said. “Or the comments on the team tanking. We are holding it together.”
Which was worse because they were still in the hunt for the playoffs. Two more wins and they should cinch it. The next two weeks were going to be hard though and if they could win one of them it’d be a confidence booster for everyone.
Everyone but him.
Did he need the pressure on his shoulders to get out there and perform when he was skittish of getting hit again?
He’d never let anyone in his life know he was afraid of anything.
“You guys are doing a great job,” he said.
“Cody isn’t you,” Gus said. “He’s still really green.”
“He’s young,” he said of the rookie that had been drafted. Their other backup got hurt last week too but should be back this week, hopefully.
“He doesn’t have the raw talent that you do,” Gus said. “Not many do. You’re going to be missed when your time comes. Iheard that you want to extend your stay here after your contract is up.”
