“It’s all we can do,” Coach said, nodding. “I’m glad you stopped in to see us. The guys will want to see you. Are you going nuts sitting home alone?”
“I’m with Emma,” he said. “Not at the house. It’s easier to recover at her place.”
Coach hummed in his throat. “It’s been quiet with you out. Things have settled down some with the news of her mother. You shouldn’t have gotten sucked into that.”
“I didn’t,” he said. He thought he answered the questions well. His “no comment” or “let’s talk about football” was getting stale on his ears but was doing the job.
How Emma handled things on her end was up to her.
She did something similar when she got sick of all the questions about him.
“If you say so,” Coach said. “You’ve had a lot happening in your life lately. During that game, you weren’t your best. What was going on?”
He wasn’t going to say he’d had a lot on his mind and couldn’t focus.
He’d never admit that to anyone.
But it had nothing to do with Emma and even less with her family’s notoriety.
It had more to do with a ghost from his past that wouldn’t leave him alone.
“I had an off day,” he said. “We all have them. You can’t expect me to be perfect week in and week out. No one is and you don’t ride their asses over it.”
“I’m not riding your ass,” Coach said. “We are just talking. Don’t get worked up.”
He didn’t know why he was. It went back to the fact that he wasn’t in the right frame of mind lately.
Maybe it still had to do with his head injury, he didn’t know.
“I’m not,” he said. “I told you what they said. We are looking at at least three more games that I’ll be out. A week and a half or more before I’m seen again and then I’ve got to practice before I’m off the IR.”
Coach held his stare. “We’ll get you back to where you need to be. I’m not worried about you. You take your health seriously.”
“I do,” he said. Which was making all of this even harder.
It wasn’t just providing for his family that had weighed on him for years. It was not being there for the woman he loved. Having kids someday and worrying about CTE as he got older.
He was stupid to think that last year would be an isolated incident since he’d gone so long without injuries.
He knew he was at a higher risk of getting another concussion after the first. Then he got a second so close to that one. This one was worse, and watching the play again and again, it didn’t seem as if it was that hard of a hit.
The thought of returning to the field made him want to puke.
“Then rest up good,” he said. “Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving this week?”
“I’m spending it with Emma’s family.”
His mother and sisters were going away for a long weekend. Something he’d set up for them months ago as a graduation gift for Stacy.
It worked out well so his mother wouldn’t be hovering over him and making him feel guilty if he couldn’t spend time with Emma either.
“You’re getting cozy there, it seems,” Coach said.
He wasn’t going to talk about his private life. “If that’s all, then I’ll go see the guys and be on my way.”
“Keep me posted with updates,” Coach said.
He tipped his head down, walked out, and found his way to the field where the team was practicing. He had to take several deep breaths to calm his heart and push away flashbacks of his injury.
