Fun, right? We’d come here to do that, while I wanted to be a fly on the wall. I wanted to watch everyone else get stupid because partying it up is what landed me here in the first place. I took one more swig of my beer before setting the bottle back on the counter and nodding toward the living room, where more people were dancing. “Do you still dance?”
Chase’s grin split his face in half, and my stomach tied itself up in knots. He was the very reason I learned I was bi. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded. “He asks if I still dance. I’ve got all new moves...” He waggled his eyebrows as he said it, his tone bordering on suggestive. If he hadn’t been so hostile when I first showed up, I would’ve assumed he was interested in more.
His warm hand enveloped mine as he dragged me over to the writhing bodies. Now it was my turn to feel a little stupid. Chase’s eyes danced with amusement before he spun, plastered his back against me, and swayed with the music. As if having a mind of their own, my hands grasped his hips, and my body followed his rhythm. My senses were overwhelmed. The smell of sea spray and spice rolled off him, and I wanted to bury my nose in his hair and take deep breaths of him. Too bad that damn hat was in the way.
Our bodies kept in sync with the music, but my mind strayed to the logo on his hat. In high school, Chase hadn’t been interested in college. He wanted to stay close to home, that the shore had calledto him. He’d teased me relentlessly about my ‘big city lifestyle’ and that I’d never be able to settle down to such a quiet life. I’d promised him, anyway. I’d let him down.
“A fan of the Huskies?” The words were breathed against his ear and a scattering of bumps broke out across the back of his neck.
Chase spun in my grasp, his arms looping around my shoulders. He grinned, leaning close. My heart pounded rapidly at his proximity, threatening to beat right out of my chest. “You see, some jackass gave this to me. Said he was coming back...”
It was a dig, and I knew what he was trying to do when his body heat pulled away and he danced off into the crowd. I followed him like I was following a mirage through the desert. He was water, and I was dying of thirst. The problem was figuring out what he was trying to achieve by antagonizing me. Little flashes of the green t-shirt he wore broke through the crowd at odd intervals, but I tracked him to the sliding doors to the patio.
While the days were warm, nights at the beach were cold. The wind blasted my cheeks the second I stepped onto the deck, and a shiver raced down my spine. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as I looked around the surprisingly empty space in search of Chase. He couldn’t have gone too far in the time it took me to get out here.
“I’m down here.” Chase’s voice trailed over the breeze, and I moved to the edge of the railing. He was sitting in the sand, wedged between the wood slats of the foundation and some sea grass.
There was no hesitation when I climbed over the rails and jumped down beside him. Chase let out a low laugh before pointing over to the side. “Always one for the theatrics. There are stairs over there.”
I huffed as I situated myself, crossing my legs over each other and staring out into the dark. You could just see the waves crashing over the shore. The moon reflected off the surface, painting such a peaceful image, pulling me back to so many summer nights as a teenager spent just like this.
“You didn’t really want to come to this party, did you?” Chase grabbed a long piece of grass, broke it off, and tied it in knots.
I shook my head, my attention still out on the water. If I looked at him, I’d be tempted to relive the memories trying to slam into me. While we were inside, he'd been mildly flirty. Now he showed no interest in rekindling anything. Since I'd fucked him over, I couldn't blame him. Revisiting those feelings would just be trouble.
“Not really. I don’t have anything against them. A good party is where it’s at, but the whole reason Mom shipped me out here was because she got tired of me doing the same shit all summer instead of looking for a job. Joke’s on her: there are no jobs.”
Chase threw the blade of grass he’d been messing with, saying nothing. I’d give anything to know what he was thinking about. Was he pissed because I hadn’t shown up here for him, confessing that I only came here as a punishment?What twenty-three-year-old was still being punished by his parents? Me, that’s who, and it was embarrassing as fuck. I was trying to make the best out of the situation, regardless.
My eyes caught on Chase’s fingers as he grabbed at another piece of grass, resuming his task of tying it into knots repeatedly before tossing it aside and grabbing another piece. He was fidgeting, distracting himself from something by keeping his hands busy. It had been years, but I still remembered some of his old nervous habits. Without thinking, I covered his hand with mine, and he blinked at me. Our gazes locked in one heated moment as the air crackled around us.
The moment ended just as quickly as it started when Chase pulled his hand from my grasp. He yanked his hat from his head, turning it to look at the logo. His dirty blond hair spilled over his forehead. “Maybe I held on to some things that I shouldn’t have.” He shrugged before dropping it into his lap. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the deck.
Something gross settled into the pit of my stomach. I’d done a terrible thing, making him think I was coming back. I had intended to, but life had other plans.
Chapter 8
Chase
How had I veered so far off course? When I led Nathan out here, I had other intentions. Now I was being mopey and wanted to get back to my original plan. Was it stupid to let this guy get his hands back on me? Oh, it was beyond stupid, but I couldn’t deny that he was the best lay I’d ever had. If he was only here for the summer, I’d be a fool to not try to get some of that back. No expectations outside of a good time. Get him out of my system once and for all. Then maybe it wouldn’t crush me all over again when he went back to Seattle.
“I’m—I’m sorry if I...”
I laughed, the sound bubbling out of me before I could stop it. When I stood, the sand fell off the back of my shorts, and I wiped the rest of it away before bending to pick up the hat. I tucked it into my back pocket before offering Nathan my hand to help him up. He stared at it with confusion, not that I could blame him. I’d played this hot and cold game with him since we got here.
“You don’t have to apologize, Nate. It’s been four years. We were both stupid kids.”
“You make it sound like we’re old.” When his fingers wrapped around my wrist, a familiar zing raced through my system. Funny how the time between us hadn’t changed how his touch still electrified me. It didn’t take much for me to think about all the places those fingers had been, where I wanted them to go, and what exactly they were capable of doing to me.
“Aren’t we, though?”
Nathan chuckled as he brushed the sand from his clothes. “I fear what you’ll think when we’re out of our early twenties.”
I hummed as my eyes trailed his frame. The moonlight always did him the best of favors. The shadows brought out all of his defined features, the sharp slope of his nose, and the way his lips looked even more pouty and tempting—a temptation I could easily give into.
Everyone seemed to be distracted inside as the music thumped, rattling the windows. Without thinking, I grabbed Nathan’s wrist and tugged him to the side of the house. It was darker there, and the place next door appeared vacant with all the lights out. His pulse beat rapidly beneath my fingertips, my own thudding loudly in my ears. When we were teens, we’d done this dozens of times, and I wondered if his thoughts were straying to the same places mine had.
I hoped they had. I wanted him to think about those things. I needed him to remember.
