“People on campusthinkI’m bi-curious, and most people in this statethinkI am straight,” I explain, brushing a fry crumb off my lap. “Because I’m publicly dating Timothy Keiths.”
“Wait—like NFL first draft, golden-boy, America’s darlingTimothy Keiths?” Landon perks up, eyes narrowing.
“Youfuckingknow him?!” Jasmine blurts, fully turned toward me now.
“Yup, he’s my beard,” I admit with a shrug. “Has been since I tried to come out to my parents and they rejected it.”
Jasmine’s smile fades. Her expression shifts to something sadder. “I’m sorry. What do you mean…rejected it?”
I shake my head. As much as Jasmine makes me feel like I could tell her anything,thatday is still a wound that keeps expanding in my chest and if I think about it, I’ll crumple under the despair and never have hope that I can be who I want to be.
Right now, I need hope. I need to keep my head down and keep my relationship with Timothy in the press, but until then I am the All-star American sweetheart who wears promise rings to church, and is on her way to marriage with Timothy Keiths.
So I give her the version people can swallow.
“Let’s just say they ain’t too keen on me being gay.”
Jasmine looks down into her Coke. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be,” I say, more firmly this time. “I got it handled. But for now… I can’t be out and proud with anybody who ain’t Timothy. So I get it if this—” I gesture loosely between her and me “—can’t be more than what it is.”
“I can’t ask you to stay in the closet. That’d be selfish. And trust me—Iamselfish. Just not in ways that don’t make sense.”
What I don’t say is this: when I turn twenty-five, when the trust fund unlocks, when I can finally stop playing Southern Sweetheart for my father’s public image?—
I want her. I wantthis.And I want to be loud and proud about it. But that’s a conversation for another day. She can do what she wants for now. Have her fun. Live in the open, and I will be her secret until then. Sounds sad but it’s the truth for now.
I clear my throat and change the topic.
“I’m guessing you’re bisexual though?” I ask, tilting my head and pointing casually between the two of them.
Jasmine glances at Landon, her cherry-glossed lips parting before closing again. Then she nods. “Yeah. But I’ve only just started exploring the wholeguypart of bisexual.”
“Lucky guy,” I murmur, smirking as I reach for another fry. “Any reason whyhe’syour first guy?”
Jasmine swallows, her gaze flicking down for a second before she glances out the window. “Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly thrilled with how men treated me and my mom.”
I nod slowly, watching her more carefully now. “So the best man you know is… a stalker?”
She laughs, light but sharp. “No. The best man I know is a construction worker—Tommy. My best friend’s dad. But yeah… my stalker’s a far second.”
“Why am Ialwayssecond?” Landon whines from his seat, running his fingertips along the curve of her neck, leaving fire red beneath his touch.
“Hmm…” I eye him up and down, then smirk. “Because you can’t keep up, buttercup.”
He groans just as his phone buzzes on the table. One glance at the screen and his whole posture shifts. He stands with a sigh. “I’ll be back in two minutes. Don’t move.”
As he walks past me, I lean casually against the table—just enough for my hand to dip into the open fold of his coat pocket as he slides past the table.His key fob slides into my palm so smooth it’s like second nature.
“We’ll behave, promise,” Jasmine calls, sipping her soda with a sly grin. He grumbles something under his breath as he walks off toward the parking lot, phone pressed to his ear.
As soon as he rounds the corner, I lean in toward Jasmine, grinning like the devil. “Wanna ditch the guard dog?”
“Hellyes,babydoll,” she grins back. “Where are we going?”
“This cowgirl’s gonna teach you how toride.”
Jasmine nearly spits out her drink laughing. “You’re out ofpocket!”
