Chapter 1
The dream was much too vivid not to be real. And so scary, she hoped it wasn't. The colors were brilliant and blinding. Voices were high pitched and furious. The argument was escalating and her protests and attempts to calm things down were not making a difference.
It was her fault. She had caused it and should have known it would come to this. She had to stop it before it became physical, and it looked as if it was near to doing so. She was going to have to agree to leave him. The man she loved with all her heart and soul. Even if it meant that her heart was going to shatter into a million pieces and leave her gasping for breath.
What else could she do?
She had to save her dad. She had to. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and sprang upwards, her breath strangled, her body shaking from the aftermath. Her heart was pounding like a triphammer, and she felt weak. Sweat was popping up on her forehead and pooling under her armpits.
It was a dream. Only a dream. She gulped down the scream rising in her throat and looked around the shadowy bedroomthat was hers. A dream, she mused again, fighting to keep everything straight in her head. Passing a hand over her face, she stared at the moistness that came away on her hands. Water, she decided. She needed a glass of water and a chance to calm her nerves.
Kadian waited a beat before swinging her legs off the bed. The sheets were tangled and damp. The stream of light from the moon filtered through the half-opened lime green drapes paved the way for her to walk to the bathroom without the aid of any artificial lighting. Her feet were trembling, and she had to make an effort to walk the few feet to the bathroom.
Turning on the light, she braced her palms on the tiles and let out a shocked laugh at the wildness of her hair and the dilated pupils of her mahogany brown eyes. She looked like something the cat had dragged in. The camisole she had donned for bed was wrinkled and damp in places and clinging to her body. And her hand was still trembling, she noted as she reached for the glass.
Filling it to the brim under the tap, she drank down water in one gulp. Putting the glass away, she stumbled into the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed. Rubbing a hand over her face, she sat there staring at the plain beige walls. She was still shaking, she realized. Her hands were still trembling. Taking a deep fortifying breath, she stretched full-length on the bed and cradled her cheek.
She wasn't going to call him, she decided. It would only worry him even more. What was worse, he would insist on coming straight over. A smile trembled on her lips as she brought his image into her mind. Thick blonde hair with an annoying tendency to curl, at least it was annoying to him! She loved toying with the thick lustrous curls. And those sea green eyes, he had inherited from his Irish mother.
The faintest hint of his cologne seemed to linger on her pillow, a phantom comfort in the quiet room. Kadian let her mind drift, replaying memories of his laughter, the way his hands fit around hers, the steadiness of his presence. Her heart ached with a bittersweet longing. How easily dreams could slip their darkness into waking hours, how quickly love could turn from shelter into sacrifice.
She drew the blanket up to her chin, hoping for warmth, but finding only a thin solace. Tonight, the shadows were deep and seemed to press against the walls, as if daring her to try to sleep again. Outside, a distant dog barked, startling her back to the present. Kadian focused on her breathing, slow and deliberate, trying to banish the aftershocks of her nightmare.
She wondered if Leon was awake at this hour, his own dreams perhaps haunted by her absence or by things unsaid. The temptation to reach for her phone was strong, but she resisted, curling tighter into herself instead. Trust, she told herself. Inhim, in love, in the promise that daylight would scatter the illusions of the night.
Eventually, her eyelids grew heavy. The world, though uncertain, would keep turning. She whispered Leon's name, her voice no louder than the hush of the moonlight and let herself drift toward the fragile hope of morning.
But several miles away inside his own lonely bedroom, his empty bed which was too big for him, he felt the lack of her presence beating at him like an open sore. The sheets were tangled around his nude body, a testament to the restless night. He should have bloody well insisted on her coming to him. It was getting much too difficult to survive a night without her. She was his goddamned wife, he thought irrationally, allowing the anger to burst inside him, not wanting to acknowledge that he was using it to drown out the pain and loneliness. She belonged at his side.
Yes, they had to resort to subterfuge, to sneaking around and marrying in secrecy. He did not know how long he could stand it. The pretense to both their parents that they did not have anything to do with each other.
The bloody feud was keeping them apart and it was worse on her dad's part. That was what had started the argument and left her weeping and him feeling guilty as hell. He knew how torn shewas. Her dad was sickly, his heart weak. Even a small amount of stress could kill him. And learning that his daughter was involved with the son of his enemy surely qualifies as a stressor. Not to mention if it was discovered they were married.
She had begged and pleaded with him to be patient, and he was trying. But being away from her like this was killing him. He resented the fact that they had to be sneaking around.
Shoving at the sheets, he swung his legs off the bed and walked into the bathroom. Using the light streaming through the double windows, he filled a glass of water and swallowed it down in one thirsty gulp.
Putting the glass down, he stared at himself in the mirror, noticing with grim amusement, the bloodshot eyes and the disheveled hair. He had left her at their hideaway place after the rousing argument and in defiance had gone to the annual charity event put on by wives of a few members of his club. He had stood there brooding in his glass of champagne and trying to fend off the avid attention of several eager women. And had been sorely tempted to take one to his bed. It had been a fleeting thought and would not have taken flight anyway.
No matter how angry and helpless he felt with the situation, there could and would never be anyone else for him but her.Kadian had captured his heart the moment he laid eyes on her. Oh, they had fought the attraction with everything they had, but it had been inevitable and too powerful for them to ignore.
He had been the one to push the issue of them getting married. She had been hesitant at first, thinking of her dad. But he had pointed out that as long as they were legal, neither of their parents could do a damn thing about it. She was just waiting for the right time to announce the news. That had been six months ago, and he was getting desperate and afraid. That was the gist of it, and it was something he did not want to reveal to her.
Fear had him by the throat. Fear that she would change her mind and ask for a divorce. He had broached the subject of having a baby and she had balked at it.
"Not right now," she pleaded. "I would never want to bring a child into this mess."
"Which happens to be our marriage. Our damn life."
"You know what I mean."
And he had, but he had felt the need to be contrary. A man has a right to be when frustration sets in. They could not go out in public and being who he was, it was required of him. He was being groomed to take over the running of the company. He was Leon Whitlock, only son and heir to the vast holdings. And ever since falling for Kadian, he found himself wishing he were just an ordinary man. If that were the case, they would not be in this incredible bind.
Dragging a hand through his tangled hair, he turned and walked out of the bathroom, with the intention of trying to get some sleep.
*****
"Dad, you shouldn't be lifting anything heavy." Kadian hurried over to wrestle the box out of his hands. "What were you thinking?" She was heavy-eyed from lack of sleep the next morning, but some foundation had taken care of that problem. And the dream the night before was put away to be examined at a much later date.
