I think I’m in shock, I-I, he’s awake?
“Little doll, he has short-term memory loss,” he admits, and my tears fall as he states, “The last memory he has is you and him at the diner, you were nineteen.”
No, no, no.
I turn my head and look at my son as a sob releases, and Raya quickly says, “Venom,” and he replies, “I’ve got her, kitten,” before he takes me into his arms, and I sob.
“W-What do-do I tell him a-about Hudson?” I sob, clutching my brother's cut as I look at my son.
“Nothing,” he whispers, “not just yet. He’s missing five years of his life, and we don’t want to send him over the edge, so for now, we tell him nothing and see what he remembers when he sees you, alright?”
My body shakes as I cry, my emotions too much for me to handle, the relief that he’s awake, the pain that he doesn’t remember anything, that he doesn’t remember his son, us…
“He’s asking for you, little doll,” my brother whispers, and I nod, keeping my teary eyes on my son.
“I’ll stay with him,” Raya says. I nod again as Cale pulls back, grabs my hands, and helps me stand. I take deep breaths as he wipes my face. Then, with a quick look at Raya, he guides me out of the quiet room and down the door that separates the babies and the elevators all while my mind scrambles to understand our new reality, a reality that wouldn’t have happened if I had just opened my damn mouth.
My heart pounds as we near Jax’s room, and my breathing picks up with fear and apprehension, causing Cale to tighten his hold on me where his arm is over my shoulders, but he doesn’t say anything, knowing nothing will help me right now.
I don’t think I would have moved if he hadn't held or guided me down here.
Slowly he opens the door, and Blade, Luna, Pitbull, and Jessica come into view, all looking at me with smiles as my eyes go to the man sitting up in bed, looking exhausted yet amazing despite being in a coma for four months. My tears fall fast and hard as we lock eyes. He gives me a slight lopsided smile, though I don’t miss the wince, and I take in a breath.
He’s still in pain?
“Hey cupcake,” he rasps, his eyes taking me in, not the nineteen-year-old he remembers, and I can’t stop my reaction.
I raise my hand and cover my mouth with the back of it as sobs releases and concern erupts from his face as he lifts his right arm and says, “Come here, Ives,” but I shake my head, my body shaking, my head unable to comprehend that he’s here, that he’s talking.
He’s awake, he really is awake…
“Venom,” Jax snaps when I don’t move and my breathing accelerates, and my brother moves to push me into the room. With one little push, my legs finally listen to my heart, and I move quickly.
I run over to Jax and climb on his bed before putting my face into his neck and I sob, all the pain and heartbreak over the past four months pour out of me as relief takes center stage that he is finally awake. While he may have some memory loss and that I have no idea how to explain everything, explain his son and how he still may not survive, Jax is awake, he’s here.
Jax wraps one arm around my waist while threading his fingers into my hair, underneath my messy bun, whispering, “It’s okay, cupcake, everything is okay,” repeatedly and I sob harder, causing him to place his lips to the top of my head and inhale.
“Let’s give them some space,” I hear my brother rasp, his voice full of emotions, before a few kisses land on my head. I don’t look up. Instead, I burrow tighter into Jax as footsteps echo and the door shuts.
He’s really here, he’s really awake, I’m not dreaming.
My body shakes, and my emotions drain me, causing Jax to hold me tighter and mumble, “I’m okay, cupcake. I’m okay.”
“Four months, Jax, that is a long time without my best friend,” I choke, and he kisses my head again and mutters against my hair, “I know, I’m sorry.”
I sob, my tears falling, soaking his chest as I hold him tighter and close my eyes, finally feeling at home after so long.
“How long has she been asleep?” I hear whispered, a whisper I know to be Viper’s as I slowly wake, but keep my eyes closed, not wanting to move.
For the first time in months, I feelsafe.
Jax’s chest rumbles against me, soothing me as he mumbles, “About an hour. She cried herself to sleep and I felt fucking useless.”
Viper sighs, “She’s been emotionally wired for months, brother. You’re her person, but you were in a coma, and she blamed herself. She tried to stand in between you and the fucking bullet.”
“I know,” Jax murmurs, “Luna mentioned it and I am getting little snippets of it but none of it is making sense and the more I try to remember the more my fucking head hurts.”
“You need to let the memories come naturally, Jax. Don’t go hurting yourself,” Viper says lowly.
