“Seems a little desperate.”
I shook my head. “Just determined.”
“Sure, then. I’ll take one.” Her shoulders lifted with a slight bounce, sending her hair cascading down her arms. “Actually, I’ll take like…four.”
Before I could react, she scooped up the cupcakes with a mischievous grin and sprang from her seat, brushing past me in a blur. The rush of her movement sent a cool breeze over my skin, making the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. When my eyes finally caught up with her, she was standing beside a large trash can, dropping the cupcakes in, one by one.
I don’t know what I was expecting to happen, but that definitely wasn’t it.
My feet were welded to the floor.
A wave of laughter flooded my ears. If it was two people or two hundred people, I couldn’t tell. My face swelled with blood, the heat incinerating my body and suffocating me in a blanket of fire. I didn’t know what to say. I let out a shaky breath while raking my fingers through my hair. Meredith had never bullied anyone, at least not that I was aware of…so why was she doingthis to me?Was she jealous?No.No way she would be jealous of me.She made me who I am. My thoughts stuttered as my eyes shifted around haphazardly. The only word I could muster was—
“Wh-why?”
“Can’t support my competition,” she said with a playful giggle, flicking the frosting off her hands. “Duh.”
Four years of friendship down the drain,but it didn’t truly sink in until she did what she had just done. I pursed my lips, staring down at my shoes. Tears pricked at my eyes as my breathing hitched. My vision became fuzzy. I bit my cheek hard enough to draw blood as I spun on my heels. Without another word, I started to walk away, leaving my cupcakes abandoned on the table.
“Hey, Clarke,” Mason called out. “Ryan is out today, but he told me to tell you his biggest regret is dating you.”
Ignoring him, I dug my hands into my pockets, continuing out of the lunchroom. My feet gathered speed as my vision tunneled, closing in at the edges, making the hallway seem longer as I plowed into the nearest bathroom.
Beads of sweat pooled on the surface of my skin, leaving behind an oily residue on my hands. I hastily opened the door to each stall, making sure I was completely alone, before slamming the heel of my palm against the final door and clicking the lock. My pulse pounded in my ears, creating a stutter that caused my head to swim. I braced myself against the walls as I sucked in air profusely, desperately trying to steady my breathing. Thoughts tumbled through my head, too fast for my mind to catch.
Not an anxiety attack.Not now.
Tears streamed down my face as my lips trembled, my hands clutching the fabric around my neck, tugging it away as if it were suffocating me. My chest heaved, rising and falling with uneven bursts. Suddenly, I was thirteen again, caught in the crosshairs of cruel words. I clasped my fingers over my mouth,squeezing my eyes shut. I was spiraling, lost in a free fall with nothing below me to cushion the impact. The light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t salvation—it was a semi-truck barreling straight toward me. The hinges on the bathroom door squeaked, followed by a soft thud of footsteps drawing closer. My eyes flew open. I stifled my sobs, but my breathing still came out ragged.
“Princess, you in there?”
“El…” A gasp escaped my lips. “Elliot?”
I clawed at the sides of the stall with my nails.
“You okay in there?”
“I…I-I can’t.” My brain was on fire. “I can’t.”
“I’m coming in.” Elliot’s head popped out from underneath the stall door as he tucked his body, pushing himself through the opening. “Hey.” He stared at me, the lines on his forehead evident as his brows drew together. “Hey. It’s okay, Clarke.”
“No.” I heaved. “No…I just need…I can’t.”
“Just close your eyes and listen to my voice.”
With no strength to reply, I simply nodded.
“Concentrate on staying grounded. Start with your toes. Wiggle each one. Then, stretch your legs. Take a deep breath, as deep as you can, and hold it for five seconds. Exhale completely. Use your hand to feel the vibration of your heartbeat in your chest.”
The tacky underside of my shoe stuck to the tile as I shifted my foot, curling my toes. Moving my focus upward, I tuned into my legs, feeling the muscles in my calf tighten with each flex. Higher up, my nostrils flared as oxygen rushed into my lungs, my ribs expanding upon inhalation. Deep within my chest, the thumping of my heart pulsed against my fingertips before easing into a calm and steady rhythm.
Elliot’s soothing voice spoke again. “Now open your eyes.”
My eyelids fluttered open, and I was back on solid ground. I slumped against the back stall wall, scrubbing my face with my hands.
Elliot gently grasped my fingers, pulling my attention toward him. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his posture rigid. A flicker of worry danced in his eyes as he scanned over my face.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
