“Changed your mind about my ancient dick?”
“What?No. Just get in here.”
But Eli stopped him. The hand against his chest wasn’t really a restraint, but it made him pause.
Eli smiled at him. “We did your way for a while, so can we try mine?”
“Your way?”
Eli pulled his hand away and used it to tap him on the chin. “I don’t think we need to pretend anymore. If we care about each other, we shouldn’t need it. I don’t like making you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable.”
“Then it doesn’t bother you when I touch you?”
“Of course not. You protect me, and I protect you. How could that be uncomfortable?” He almost threw in a disgruntled“idiot”at the end but managed to leave it out despite his embarrassment. “I mean, it can be nerve-wracking, but that’s only because my body reacts, and I already don’t know how I’m supposed to look Nat in the face on Saturday.”
It was worth bearing with the embarrassment for the smile that blossomed on Eli’s face—a flower opening for the summer sun. “I’ll treasure that trust, puppy.” And with that, he got another kiss, on his other cheek this time.
It shouldn’t have been a big deal. All his mother’s friends used to kiss him like that as a greeting. But itwasa big deal, and he knew his blush was fierce because Eli’s smile widened, and he pressed his knuckles to the color. “Cute.”
He smacked the hand away and pushed his head under the water, but not before he heard the man’s laugh.
Chapter Fourteen
Trusting Rat
He ate a tremendous amount that day. He didn’t know if it was increased appetite or a coping mechanism, but he put away so much food even Eli was impressed. “I think you might rival Than. Maybe even Darren.”
“If I die of obesity-related complications, I’m blaming you.”
But he didn’t feel like dying, and that was the weird part. He’d come face to face with his feelings, and he wasn’t depressed, in fact, he was rather...content? He didn’t know how to label it, and it wasn’t just the relief of finally having a secret out in the open, after all, Nathaniel had known about his feelings long before he did, and so, apparently, had Eli. No. It wasn’t just about the secret. It was removing barriers, maybe. He felt less censure. Less need to hide. After all, if Nat and Eli could handle his goo-goo eyes, then they could handle everything else, the full pathetic noxiousness of his personality, even, because Nathaniel brushed away his apology on the phone like it was a nuisance.
“I’m happy we can talk about it now. I mean, wecantalk about it now, right? Or do we have to pretend you don’t want to ride his dick?”
He was only glad Eli was hanging back, chatting to a couple of people on the phone line. Probably more medical bullshit. News about Eli’s expertise was spreading like wildfireand it meant even people from other blocks were approaching him now.
He dropped his voice. “Please tell me you don’t say things like that to Eli.”
Nathaniel had every right to say even worse things, of course, but the man was too decent for such behavior—he hoped.
“Not really. He’s very prudish about you. It’s cute. He seems to think you’re some blushing virgin, though it’s obvious from the way you stare you know exactly what you want to do.”
He hoped the hands he had glued to the receiver were keeping any of the tinny volume from escaping. Still, even if surrounding witnesses couldn't hear the man, there was no hiding the redness of his face. The only one whocouldn’tsee it was Nathaniel. Maybe that was why the man continued on, merciless and unrelenting.
“It’s a bit unfair, I think. He’s always calling me a pervert, but you—he won’t hear any word of insinuation against you. Do you know how long it took me to convince him it was horniness, not fear, that had you flinching away from him? Sometimes I think he’s still unconvinced. It’s strange. Complete strangers used to fall in love with him every day. Patients, parents, grocery store workers, everyone, really, and he never had any doubts about their general lustfulness. Maybe it’s your beauty. I mean, he’s no stranger to good-looking candidates, but you’re probably the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.”
That’s not why, he wanted to say, but he was too embarrassed to speak. He’d heard many compliments over the years, many more ridiculous and blatant than anything Nathaniel could come up with, but the way the man dropped the compliments, without intent for flattery made them particularly difficult to brush off.
“In any case, I’m just going to remind you not to pull anystupid stunts. If I hear you risked your safety on some foolish quest to maintain Eli’s chastity or whatever, I’m going to be more than pissed. If you want to blue-ball yourself, go ahead, I can’t stop you, but I don’t want any more of last night’s foolishness. You don’t get to divorce Eli, not now, and not later, either, or do you really think you’re going to be able to find someone better than him once you get out?”
That was a rhetorical question if he’d ever heard one.
“I won’t leave him.”
“Good. And if you’re going to be a prude, at least don’t be a suffocating one. Are you really still worried about that Ariel guy?”
Ariel was a pretty twink from a different block who’d recently made it quite clear that if Eli wanted anything—and he really did mean anything—he needn’t hesitate to ask. Just hearing the name aloud was enough to set his teeth on edge.
