“If Ade’s stormed off over something like this, then maybe she does need to grow up. It’s not even about her.”
“It’s not her fault that one of the students had a mental health crisis. It happens all the time. You know that.” She dragged her spoon through her crème brulée. “She’d done everything I would have done.”
“She’ll come around, won’t she?” Isa asked.
“I hope so. I left her to it last night, thinking she needed to calm down. But she hasn’t been in contact today. Should I call her?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
The regret sat heavy on her heart as she recalled Ade’s expression. Sylvie had been frustrated at Paul, and a tiny part of her had wanted to show how much of the heavy lifting she’d been doing these past few months. But her explanation had framed Ade as lacking, when she was anything but.
“Call her, Sylvie. You’re used to being honest with people.” Isa huffed, obviously tired of her own bit-part in the saga. “How is the girl doing anyway? The one who hurt herself.”
“She’s doing okay. I called her last night, and she seemed much brighter. She starts therapy tomorrow.”
“They worry me, these young people. It’s all they do when things get too much.” Isa’s concern hung between them.
“People have always hurt themselves, Isa. It’s nothing new,” Sylvie said. “It’s a way of, I don’t know, feeling something other than what’s in front of them.”
“I know the psychology, but I wish they’d find another way.” Isascrewed her nose up.
“There are plenty of ways to numb the pain. I’m not sure any of them are preferable.” Sylvie’s own coping mechanisms wouldn’t have landed her in the emergency room, but maybe she was one of the lucky ones. Ade wasn’t so fortunate. She’d obviously been stewing on the whole thing, berating herself for what she did and didn’t do. Sylvie had to make contact with her tonight. She had to make Ade see how sorry she was for hurting her.
“I’ll get the check this time,” Isa said, as if she’d read Sylvie’s mind. “Why don’t you head off and see if you can find that handsome young thing and get her firmly back on speaking terms?”
“Thank you, I will.” Sylvie delivered three kisses on Isa’s cheek and made for the door.
Winter had gripped the city. The branches of the treelined promenade were barren, robbed of their twinkly lights and not yet ready for their first flush of blossom. It was the darkest, dampest month of the whole year, and Sylvie could feel it in her bones.
Even the familiar square that Ade’s apartment overlooked seemed empty and dull. Piles of trash had gathered on the breeze, strewn across the place like no one cared. A bulb had blown in one of the street lamps, and it was darker than usual. She looked up at Ade’s window, where the light shone to signal she was home.
By the time she’d climbed the steps to the top, she fought for her breath. Ade waited by the open door, her expression neutral, like they were meeting for the first time back at class. “You didn’t call,” Sylvie said.
“I had to think.” Ade stared at her socks.
“And now?”
“I need someone in my life that I can count on, someone who isn’t going to say things behind my back,” Ade said, her arms folded. “I get enough of that from my dad when he holds me up to some standards he hasn’t explained yet and tells me I’m not good enough.”
Sylvie had seen the pressure that Nate had put on Ade. Hewanted her to succeed, but that level of perfection came with a long way to fall. She reached for Ade’s hand. “I don’t need you to meet some unknown expectations. And Iamsomeone you can count on.”
“It hurt. The casual way you spoke about me with Paul hurt me.”
“I know it did. I’m really sorry.” Sylvie dipped her head, wishing she could take it all back.
“Sorry you said it or sorry I heard you?”
“Both.” Sylvie rubbed her temples, pounding from the exertion of the stair climb. “I’m sorry I hurt you. You mean more to me than…” Could she say what she meant? The realization hadn’t been a sudden one. Ade had crept into her heart and made a home for herself.I won’t lose you because of one throwaway comment.“You mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever had in my life. Forgive me for being careless with my words and careless with your feelings.”
Ade blinked, her face still blank. “That’s a nice thing to hear.”
Sylvie smiled. “Can I give you a birthday present?”
“Well, it’s kinda not my birthday anymore, but if you insist.”
She stepped into Ade’s space. “I really do insist.”
Sylvie had missed Ade’s body. She stroked the tiny hairs at the nape of her neck and leaned in to where Ade’s lips had just parted. Sylvie rushed to seal their embrace, and their bodies melted together, a breathless meeting of heaving chests. Did Sylvie crave Ade’s body or her forgiveness? Either way, right now, Ade was the only woman in the world. Sylvie’s body filled with want, and she needed her lips against Ade’s skin.
