“What makes you think it would be a negative thing?”
Sylvie fell silent. She didn’t know. But it couldn’t be anything, could it? She blinked away the remnants of last night’s fantasy: the dream of holding Ade’s hand, touching her cheek.
“Sylvie? Why would it be a disaster if something happened between you two?” Isa asked.
“It wouldn’t work. I’m practically her boss while she’s here. She’s only in town for a year. It’ll be over before it starts.”
“You’re writing you both off? Isn’t that a little presumptuous given Ade hasn’t had a say in this?” Isa shot her a challenging stare. “And don’t give me all of that ‘boss’ and ‘employee’ bullshit. We both know that’s not what this is.”
Sylvie sighed. “We’re almost at our stop.”
“Have you ever had a proper relationship?” Isa asked.
The answer was a simple no. Sylvie had never invested herself in another person. She hadn’t ever found anyone worth giving up her time, her energy, her brain power, and her heart for. “You know the answer to that.” Sylvie stiffened, not wanting to rake over her failure to truly open up to another person. Ever.
“Indulge me.”
Sylvie stood, ready to disembark. “No, I haven’t ever had a proper relationship. You think that means something? You think that’s the key to unlocking my heart?”
“I think that you admitting you’ve never unlocked your heart for someone is a step in the right direction,” Isa said. “I was talking about your pants.”
“Don’t be crude.” Sylvie laughed. “I’m scared that she doesn’t feel the same way. It’ll all fizzle out in the end. Or my heart will be broken when she goes back to California. It all takes up too much of my time when I have a book to write and classes to teach.”
“That’s real progress.” Isa folded her arms with satisfaction.
Why did the burden of Sylvie’s feelings continue to grow heavier? The noose of unexplained emotions tightened around her collar. She couldn’t articulate this to herself, never mind Ade. Thewhole thing was becoming impossible and messy. Sylvie needed a simple life and time to focus on her work. Distractions of the heart were a waste of time and energy.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Moisture pooledat Ade’s armpits. This afternoon was sure to test all her new people skills. Her counseling sessions had been dwindling for the last few weeks while the students were getting their heads around assignments and deadlines. But as the end of term crept up on them all, a sense of panic had set in. Now she had a line of people waiting to see her.
“I don’t know what to do,” Madison said, rushing into the room.
“About what?” Ade rubbed at her hair and gripped her forehead, the glare from the strip lighting shining too bright for her brain to function.
“Everything. I just can’t handle any of it.”
Ade tracked back to their previous conversation, joining the dots in a beat. “We talked about lightening your timetable last week. Did you manage to discuss it with any of your tutors?”
Madison huffed and threw her bag on the floor. “I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength. When I suggested it after French Lit on Monday, he looked at me like I was crazy.”
Ade suspected that the quality of Madison’s French or her complete reluctance to speak the language might have played a part in her teacher’s resistance.
“Ade, I don’t think I’m going to be able to pass this semester.” Madison’s tone grew serious, and her lip trembled. “Will I be sent home?”
No crying. Ade could absolutely not deal with tears right now. The buzz of the overhead light grew louder. She glanced up at the restless line of people waiting at the door. “Listen, this semester is no big deal. Just make it up when you come back after the holidays.”
“But the attentions or whatever the f?—”
“The attestations?” Ade squinted at Madison. For some reason, every student had to have proof that they’d been attending seminars and lectures. “That’s a simple signature. Just ask your tutors to autograph your slips next time you have class.”
Madison’s jaw dropped, and tears sprang to her eyes. “That’s the thing. They won’t know who I am. I haven’t been attending many classes.”
This was worse than Ade expected. Madison clearly hadn’t been showing up for quite some time, and there was no way any teacher worth their salt would sign a declaration of attendance when there was no sign of willingness.
“What can I do?” Madison asked, clearly expecting all the answers.
“Hey, are you going to take the whole damn hour, Madison?” Scott called from the hallway.
