Page 38 of Here in My Heart


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“I hope you don’t mind, but I asked her to join me. She needs extra credit to pass the semester.” Greg bit his cheek, looking sheepish.

“Will you sign my paper to say I was here?” Madison asked.

Ade pinched the bridge of her nose, already regretting not turning back. “What paper are you talking about?”

“You know, the little slips of paper the teachers sign to say you’ve been turning up to stuff. I can’t remember what they’re called.” Madison yawned.

“Attestations,” Greg said, butchering the French pronunciation.

“Sure. I can sign you off on this lab time. How long are you two planning to stick around for?”

“As long as you have jobs to do.” Greg clapped his hands together, while Madison’s shoulders dropped an inch.

“Then let’s get to work.” Ade pulled up the day’s task list andhanded them the tablet. “Work together on this. Greg knows the drill, so follow his lead but come and ask me if you’re not sure. It’s best to double check than risk harming the sea life.”

Greg beamed with pride at being given a position of relative seniority in the lab, so Ade left them to it. “Just going to check on my sand dollars.” Ade pulled on her gloves, pursing her lips as the latex pulled against every pore on her skin. In all the years she’d been in the labs, she’d never gotten used to the sensation.

Adjusting the dial on the microscope, her cheeks stretched into a huge smile as the six white circles came into focus. “Wow. There you are, you little beauties.”

“What’s that?” Madison hovered at her shoulder.

Ade took a deep breath. She’d hoped for the solitude to be able to record the progress of the breeding program, but she couldn’t pass on the opportunity to teach these kids a little about culturing. “These are sand dollar cultures. You know the skeletons you sometimes find on the beach? All flat and round?” Ade moved so Madison could see for herself. “Take a look inside. They’re wrinkly, which means they’re doing really well.”

“But what is it?”

“A kind of sea urchin. In about eight weeks, it’ll have eight arms. Then, for a couple of weeks, they’ll all live in the water, and once they receive a signal from an adult, they’ll settle on the sand. It’s unbelievable, really. They wait for their cue, and then they settle down, usually all together in one big group.”

“And we’re breeding them here? But they’re minuscule. How do you know what you’re doing?”

Ade chuckled. “It’s not the easiest of marine life to work with, that’s for sure. There’s a lot of staring into a microscope. Plus, it’s almost impossible to tell the males from the females unless they’re spawning. They’re a real lesson in how gender is socially fabricated.”

“Huh.” Madison stared into the microscope for a few moments, apparently lost in the tiny specimen of life.

“Are you interested in the breeding program? There’s always work to do if you want to get involved?” Ade surprised herself with the invitation. But there was something about Madison’s demeanor that reminded her of herself a few years ago: not quite knowing where she fit but finding a peace in the lab.

“I’d like that.” Madison looked up above the scope. “Truth is, I’m flunking all the minor subjects I was given.”

“You are?” Ade kicked herself for canceling the last student counseling session. She should have known about this already. “What’s been going on?”

“I can’t keep up with the French language lessons. It’s all too fast for me.” Her head dropped, and she sniffed. “I missed a rent payment too.”

Ade blew her cheeks out. “That sounds like a tough time. What’s going on with the rent? Are you having money trouble?”

“No, I just got all confused.” Madison wiped her eyes. “It’s paid off now. I don’t know, it’s just too much to handle sometimes.”

“Hey, I totally get that. There’s a lot to manage when you’re somewhere new by yourself.” Ade bit her lip, grasping for ideas. What would Steph say? What would Sylvie say? “But you’re not alone with it, you know? We’re here together.”

Madison looked up, her eyes filled with emotion, and smiled.

“How about you and I look over your schedule this afternoon and work out whether anything could be changed with your modules. This year is about enjoying the experience, not wasting your time on credits that won’t benefit you in the future.”

“I’d like that.”

Ade wondered whether she’d said the right thing. She had no real idea what she was doing. She just said what she thought Madison needed in the moment. She snuck a look back at her: long hair tied up in a ponytail, pristine clothes underneath an ill-fitting lab coat. Ade had really overestimated her confidence. Madison was certainly not what she presented to the rest of the world.

Ade chewed her lip. Her head ached from trying to second-guess everyone’s feelings and meanings, but this made it ten times worse. Was everyone just presenting their best side all the time? How could she trust her own interpretation when the whole world massaged their appearance to fit in? She had no chance of finding her own place when the rules of the game kept shifting. Would she remain trapped in the bubble of her own making forever? It could be a little lonely in there sometimes.

CHAPTER NINETEEN