“It’s just a little puke.”
Jaki settled back. “Preti was my Mother, and I never yearned for another. I considered my birth Mother lost since Elswere had no idea where she was, and Reesing never admitted her name. I thought about it a few times when I was older, but it made me feel disloyal to Preti.”
“I don’t think she’d truly mind. She knew you loved her and saw her as Mother.”
“That’s why I might want to see her now, or at least write, but…I still don’t know. I need to think about it, and we have other things to do at the moment. I’ll have to fight too.”
Lumi’s stomach turned over. “I don’t want you to fight.”
“I will. This is our Kingdom, and I’ve sat on my arse long enough too. I’m not staying home while others do the dirty work. You’re not properly trained for war, and Jacqueline needs you, so you’re not going.”
Jaki said something else, but Lumi lost it as he pictured the skylight. If something happened, Lumi would have to flee with her. If Tivar killed Jaki and his army overran the east, he’d come for Lumi. If he got hold of them…Tivar might keep Lumi alive simply to torture. Maybe he’d try to get more heirs from him.
Lumi would rather die than go back to that room knowing Jaki was gone forever. If Tivar didn’t kill Jacqueline, Lumicouldn’t bear the thought of her being raised anywhere near that monster. What if he abused her when she was older? What if he brought another prisoner and forced Lumi to fuck them? He might abuse a son too.
It’d never end until Tivar croaked of old age.
“Lumi.” Jaki turned into the seat as Lumi. “Look at me. I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t really know that! I don’t want you to die. Or Jacqueline. I can’t g-go back either.”
Jaki cupped both sides of his face. “Before we go, I’m going to send you out of the country with her. He won’t find you at home, and there will be loyal men with you to take you further if needed. I’m not going to let him ever get his hands on you again or our daughter. But you won’t need to go far because I’m going to gut him for what he’s done to you. When you return and go to sleep every night, you’ll know he’s erased from the realm. He will never touch you again, and our daughter will be safe. Do you understand me?”
Lumi managed to nod, and Jaki wrapped his arms around his shoulders.
“I’ll come back, and I promise we’ll be together with Jacqueline.”
***
A small tomb lay underground behind the Temple. Bodies to be laid to rest later could wait there.
They’d likely never know where Mother’s body was, so they couldn’t have a funeral for her. She had probably been dumped in a hastily dug hole, and Lumi’s chest tightened as his brain threatened to unravel again.
Reesing’s mistakes and attempts to fix them had eventually led to the death of the woman he’d tried to keep from hurting.
The room was empty except for one corner where a coffin lay. Perhaps the family had to travel there, or it would be transported soon. The High Mage placed the small coffin in the center before he knelt at the side to pray.
The other Mages kneeled at the sides to whisper prayers to Elira for the baby’s rest.
“May you be sent down to live again and know nothing but peace in your new life,” Jaki murmured as he stood nearby with Lumi who muttered the same. “Maybe he’s already been born again.”
Everyone got one chance in their shell, and that was it. Nobody came back from the dead. It didn’t mean their soul couldn’t be sent back to live again. Some stayed in Elira’s rest, and others got to try life once more with the past wiped away.
Perhaps he was no longer Tivar and thriving somewhere else.
***
Lumi awoke after dawn, and pure panic gripped him as he looked around in the dim light. Jaki wasn’t behind him in the bed, and Jacqueline wasn’t by him. He stumbled into the sitting room to find Jaki holding their daughter and walking back and forth while he hummed.
“She’s quite an early riser.” Jaki turned, and his expression dropped as he looked at Lumi.
Lumi leaned on the doorway with his heart pounding. “You-you weren’t in the bed.”
Jaki brought her over. “I’m sorry. You fell asleep while you were feeding her, and she was awake, so I brought her in here. She’s safe. Do you want her?”
Lumi nodded, and Jaki passed her over. His heart still thudded as he tried to convince himself nothing was wrong.
“You need to teach me how to do a nappy because it doesn’t look quite the same as when you put it on her.”
