“He’d be aware of how everything is. If he's not okay with it, he doesn't have to take part. If he agrees, we’ll take care to balance things so nobody feels like they’ve been forgotten.”
“Poly relationships get more complicated with more people. Three people is one thing. Four is another. It works for some, but I don’t see it working for us.”
Riju narrowed his eyes as he studied Trig’s expression and tried to ignore his throat which was still tight. Trig was in control overall with their current situation. Maybe he didn’t like the idea of Riju having a relationship outside of Trig because he wouldn’t be in control of it. He wanted Riju to stay at their shop and do whatever Trig decided, so it had to be a control thing.
Plus, if Riju decided he liked another man and wanted to marry him instead, he’d be in a better position to break up with Trig.
Besides, he didn’t think Riju could manage anything without him.
“You think I can’t do stuff on my own, don’t you?”
Trig let out a rough laugh. “I’ve made sure you can do things on your own. You were picking through the rubbish when I found you, and you looked like a stiff breeze could have carried you off. I taught you to bathe every day, clean your teeth, and take care of your hair. I made sure you had proper clothes and taught you my work. You can do all of that stuff now because I taught you and helped you the best I could. I did it so you could do it on your own, and you’ve been doing it for years. I’ve even tried to ensure you’ll be okay by yourself if I ever get sick or have an accident.”
“You don’t want to let me do something truly on my own and try to live the life I could have had in some form if my childhood was different.”
“I highly doubt you would have had a decent life if your parents didn’t kick you out,” said Trig. “Did your parents take proper care of you?”
“No, but-”
“You have everything now because of me. What you are right now is because of me.” Trig tapped his chest. “Me. If I hadn’t gotten you to follow me that day, you might even be dead now.”
“Then why can’t you let me go so I can use what you taught me to live and do what I want? Why can't I be independent and explore a different path? How would you like it if another forced you to do only what they wanted? Marriage definitely isn’t going to work for us without changes on your part which you don’t appear willing to consider. Also, if you didn’t intend for us to be lovers at first, was I supposed to hang around here for life?”
“I don’t know! I didn’t think years ahead at first because I had to deal with you in the present.”
Deal. Like a pest.
“That was more pressing. I was focused on feeding you and gaining your trust so you wouldn’t be so terrified. You were practically like a wild dog at first…”
Riju froze in his chair. “I’m not a dog, and I never have been.”
Trig’s eyes widened. “I didn’t mean it like-I meant because of your actions. You bit me on the first day!”
“Because I couldn’t fight you off any other way, and I thought you were going to lock me in the basement. I’m not a pet either, and I don’t appreciate being compared to a wild dog!”
“Riju-”
“That’s what you saw in me later, isn’t it? I’m something to show off because you think you can fix me, and you got me this far. You don’t listen when I say I don’t want to make eye contact with all of the customers because you think you can force it on me, and then I’ll be ‘fixed.’ It’s why you continuously argue with me when I-”
Trig suddenly approached the counter and smacked his hand down on the surface. Riju snatched his doll away.
“That right there is a reason why you can’t be on your own,” he snarled.
“You’re being mean, and you scared her.”
“She’s a fucking doll, and she doesn’t have feelings or emotions.”
Tears pricked Riju’s eyes. He knew she didn’t think or feel, but it was something he’d gotten used to before when he’d figured out a way to make his parents stop arguing at times. Later, it was easier to say how the doll felt, or would if she were real.Hewas scared of Trig because he’d never been so mad before, even when Riju bit his hand that first day.
“Everything I do is to try to make you better and more normal because of this…regression thing you do.” Trig waved at him. “You’re practically like a kid at times with this toy obsession, and you get so focused on shit, it’s hard to steer you away. You need to be more like an adult. You’re not capable of living alone, running a business, and juggling a relationship with me and another guy in private. People don’t understand you, and while I can handle things like you repeating words twenty times in a row, others think you're odd and don’t like that shit. Life on your own isn’t going to be easy. Some thanks it is to get yelled at.”
“I’ve thanked you plenty of times before because I am grateful you gave me a home and everything else,” Riju said in a small voice. “But you won’t let me even try to d-do-I-”
Everything tangled for a second as he clutched Red. What could he possibly say to get through to Trig? Why had he thought today would be any different? Trig couldn’t be diverted from what he thought or wanted either. There was no point in mentioning the book either because he wouldn’t give a shit.
“Breathe and calm down so you don’t get your words mixed up. You’re twenty-six, and I still have to remind you of this.”
Because he was the one upsetting Riju.
