“You’re not retarded.” Kit stroked his hair. “I promise you’re not.”
Riju didn’t look up. “I’m still not like everyone else.”
“But that’s not a bad thing. You didn't deserve any of that.”
Riju was quiet for a long moment. “Sometimes I think I could live on my own now because Trig says I’m not stupid. Just to try it and be independent. He also says I wouldn’t be able to live on my own because I’m not mature enough. It was a while ago, and it made me feel pretty dumb.”
“But why?”
“He says I need to improve on a lot of stuff, and I guess he thinks I’m too immature partly because of the dolls. I'm afraid he still thinks that, and I don’t want to ask him.”
Kit thought for several seconds. “I think you could. You can work, and if you have work, you’ll have money which means you can have food and a place to live. If you’re on the street, it’s hard to get off and stay on your feet unless you have some luck. You’ve been off of it now for several years, and you have experience and skill at something. That’s basically what everyone does in life. They work to make money, and they have a roof, food, and clothes. It doesn't matter if they love dolls. Maybe they’re poor, or they have debt, but the basics are the same, and Trig should understand you get it.”
“True, but…it’s complicated.” Riju straightened up. “If I asked you to sleep in here with me tonight, would you?”
He must not have wanted to talk about the other stuff anymore, and the question practically blew Kit away. “What? Really?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you slept in here alone or went to Trig’s bed.”
“This is my private space, but I think I’d like to try it with you if you’re okay with sleeping in the same bed as me.”
Kit barely knew what to say for a moment. He thought the time in Riju’s private space wouldn’t go beyond a few hours during the day.
“Hell yes, I’d love to sleep in here with you.”
“Come in around nine.” Riju kissed him and smiled. “Let’s go watch the shop.”
Chapter Twelve
Riju had intended to ask earlier until he’d been distracted by other things. Once they’d finished dinner, and Kit was cleaning up in the kitchen, he caught Trig in the hallway.
“I want to go to the bookshop.”
Trig paused. “Now?”
“Yeah.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow? I don’t like you going outside at night.”
If anything happened, it could also happen during the day. Riju knew that too well, and he didn’t want to put off a particular thing anymore. “I’m going to the one down the street, not out in the city. It’s not far, and I’ll be fine.”
“All right. Be careful.”
“I know.”
Trig gave him a quick kiss. “Don’t take too long.”
When Riju left the shop, he pulled his cloak tighter about him since it was a bit windy. The bookshop down the road had a huge collection of naughty books, but that wasn’t what he intended to buy.
The shop stayed open until ten which was kind of late, not that the owner was working hard. He was sitting behind his counter on a stool with a book in hand, and he barely looked up when he said hello. Riju didn’t care.
Eye contact or looking at another’s face wasn’t so important to everyone like Trig said.
Several things had been bugging him for quite a while. Unfortunately, he couldn’t talk to Trig about them. When he had tried voicing certain concerns, especially in the past several months, Trig brushed him off. Riju had no friends besides Kitwho wasn’t right to ask, or at least not at the moment since Riju didn't have his thoughts all in order. He also couldn’t imagine asking a teacher at the college about it. It would get Trig in trouble.
He knew the general rules for their kind of relationship. He still needed to see a few things in front of him to fully confirm what he thought was right. In a way, it would also be clear proof that things needed tochange.
