Aleric shifted on the rock and finally decided to come out and say it. “I do want to have sex. I miss it, and I’m not talking about topping either. I want to do all kinds of…stuff. Nothing has truly satisfied me in the years. I…I need more than just getting off.”
“And you’re worried I’ll play nice for a while if you give in to what you want. I know. I don’t know how to put you at ease besides time, and that can go by pretty slowly when you’re in bad circumstances.”
So he wouldn’t be a nasty piece of shit on their wedding night if Aleric simply went to bed. But if he just did the bare minimum of not being an ass, that wasn’t much of an attempt at making it work, was it? They’d be like roommates who kinda got along and happened to have an oopsie kid.
It’d probably cause tension later as the baby grew a bit. Jaime would be stuck in a sexless friendship masquerading as a marriage, and Aleric would be miserable and lonely inside. If they divorced, Jaime would feel trapped in the city even if he said nothing, and if he found someone to marry, their kid would have a step-parent.
He didn’t want that.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I have a feeling your mind is on a long trip and imagining all kinds of things that could go wrong.”
“You might not like me later no matter what I do.”
Jaime tilted his head. “I think you’re imagining me seeing you like Gautier does.”
“I’m not entirely insecure, you know? I am also aware that some people in life may simply not like me enough for a long-term relationship. Not everyone can get along.”
“When we’re not arguing, we kind of do.”
“Yeah. Kind of.”
“It’s early. We haven’t had a chance to just focus on each other.”
Jaime had a damn response for everything. Aleric also knew he was stubborn.
“If we do have sex, what are you into?” he asked.
“If kink doesn’t make you comfortable, we don’t have to do that. I don’t think you’d be keen on the belt or certain things. That’s going to dig up bad shit.”
“I prefer it kinky,” said Aleric. “But no belts.”
“Never,” Jaime said hastily. “I won’t touch your throat either.”
“You can touch it. No choking.”
“Can you handle blowjobs?”
“I specifically don’t want anything squeezing my throat. Oral is fine.”
“Okay.”
He still had fantasies about a lot of things like being tied up, so when it came to certain activities, he didn’t feel ruined. He felt sort of ruined toward the overall idea of submitting and fully trusting. Maybe he could kneel, permit Jaime to mercilessly fuck his throat, and love every second of it. If he wanted to stop, he could get up, use his hands to defend himself, or in an extreme case, bite down on the dick in his mouth.
Being tied up and made entirely helpless was another thing and required more trust even though the fantasy of it could make his dick hard. It meant he couldn’t do shit and would have no hope of defending himself, and he couldn’t see himself doing that with Jaime yet.
“You’re not going to expect to piss on my face or shit on me, right? Because I’m never doing that.”
“No. That’s disgusting. I don’t do blood either, so don’t ask me to cut you. I’m also not into consensual non-consent, and I already know you’re not. I will never deny your orgasms or anything like that since we know what might happen there. You always have the ability to say no or use a safety word of your choice. It will never be ignored.”
It had been ignored once, and the memory tightened his stomach. Jaime put his arm around Aleric and leaned over.
Even though Jaime’s arm felt rather nice and not threatening, Aleric had a thought that most would likely find manipulative and horrible: He could ask to suck Jaime’s dick, get halfway through, and demand to stop. No man would appreciate it, but if Jaime’s reaction scared him, Aleric could dig his heels in and absolutely refuse to marry him. He’d tell Father and demand that Jaime be put out.
Testing Jaime would be shitty. People trying for a good relationship didn’t do that kind of crap. Besides, Aleric was pretty sure once Jaime’s cock was in his mouth, he wouldn’t want to stop because he loved giving and hadn’t done it in years.The idea of getting on his knees right there in the woods to swallow Jaime’s load was already making him partially hard.
There was a way to test things.
“Can I suck your dick?” He almost couldn’t believe he’d blurted it out.
