“I meant what I said earlier about us trying. I know you’re not going to believe anything you can’t see for yourself, and words won’t mean much, but if we give it time and try-”
Aleric still refused to look at him. “Am I the abundant male trophy that you’ve always wanted to breed?”
“No.”
“I seem to remember someone saying they’d only marry an abundant male,” Aleric said dryly. “Lucky you, impregnating one on your first try.”
“You’re not a trophy. No abundant male is. I’ve always wanted kids. I don’t want a consort, and that’s not changing. I wasn’t hoping to breed you. I’m not trying to get into your bed now so I have a thing to screw or beat. You’re carrying my baby, and even though he or she wasn’t planned, we could give the baby a goodlife, be parents, and grow close. This doesn’t have to be doomed to fail. I’ll take care of you through pregnancy and afterward. I’m not going to be one of those Fathers who leaves the nappies and every little thing to the other parent. I’m not going to snore away while you’re up every two hours to feed the baby and half-dead from lack of sleep. We don’t have to have sex either. I’ll sleep on the couch, and you can have your bedroom entirely to yourself.”
Aleric finally looked at him. “We’re going to have a sexless marriage, and you’re okay with that?”
Not exactly, but Jaime wasn’t sure how to word it without sounding like an ass who was counting the seconds until he could put his dick in a tight hole. If Aleric learned to trust him and wasn’t afraid Jaime was going to flip one day…it seemed kind of inevitable he would eventually want more. It was clear he still had desire like most men.
“I figured you might decide to try it again because you probably won’t like a sexless marriage yourself. It’s your choice, and you can decide on it later.” Shit. Aleric might think there was a time limit, and he better allow sex by a certain point or risk another beat-down. “There’s no time limit. You’re the one in control of things. I’m not leaving you to cope with a baby alone, and I’m certainly not leaving you with that prick living here.” Jaime practically spat out the last part.
“Mm.”
It wasn’t a yes. It also wasn’t a no. Jaime dared to reach up and take his hand. Aleric didn’t pull away, although it was like holding a limp fish. Maybe that was a good sign. If he truly hated Jaime’s guts, he’d pull away, right? Gautier might have abused him, but he hadn’t beaten out all of the fight.
“You didn’t deserve anything he did to you, and you don’t have to deal with everything alone. I don’t think you’re lying, and you can tell me anything later. If you do decide for us to have anykind of sexual contact, you can also say no or stop it at any time. I want you to feel safe.”
“Why are you acting like this?”
“Uh…is this a trick question?”
“Father didn’t believe me. You should be focusing on the part where I slept with Gautier for two years and questioning everything I’ve told you because maybe I am just a jealous whore who doesn’t like my little brother getting with the attractive, older man.
Jaime looked away, not wanting to say it.
“Well? I can’t read your damn thoughts.”
Jaime finally looked back at him. “Your Father’s not seeing what I see. Obviously, he's never seen you or dealt with you in any kind of sexual situation. I have. You don’t act jealous or like a whore. You act like a man who lost all of his trust because he was burned so badly, he didn’t know who to turn to, so he’s packed it all down and would rather lash out first so he doesn’t get burned again. You trust Clementine. You didn’t even tell her, and you’ve been stuck shouldering this load that’s affected your entire life and might even end it if that dickhead manages to off you. Your Father doesn’t get that, and when there are small signs, he misses them. If you backed away from me or any man, he’d think you’re just moving. I’ve seen things that he hasn’t, and after what you told me, it makes sense. Just because I grew up as a village boy doesn’t mean I’m stupid and blind.”
Aleric stared at him. Maybe he hadn’t quite realized what kind of image he’d present to a new person who was around a lot and also willing to listen. With their father-and-son relationship, it was probably easy for Lord Monet to think he already knew Aleric. So easy, he’d make wrong assumptions and think himself right. It’s easier to do so with family. They get comfortable and used to certain things.
“I didn’t notice everything either, or I thought the wrong thing before. I do now.”
Aleric finally shifted his gaze and didn’t seem to know what to do or say.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“No.”
Maybe a break and a shift in topic would be good for them both. “Can we focus on a couple of baby-related things for the moment?”
“There’s not much to do. It’s barely a speck.”
Jaime remained crouched. He’d better start thinking about a lot of things he did. Even if Aleric didn’t move away, say anything, or act a certain way, the potential threats of something likely lurked in the back of his mind. Jaime was a lot bigger, and a simple action might say the wrong thing.
“You fainted on the stairs that morning,” he said. “You were off your food, and if you faint again, you might not just crumple on the landing. You could fall and seriously hurt yourself.”
Aleric scratched the back of his head. “She said some symptoms happen before the cramps. A lot of stuff is about to be going on in my body. Actually, things are happening right now even though they’re not noticeable, and feeling faint is one. She said my not eating much likely worsened it, and a lack of appetite sometimes happens early on. Not everyone experiences the same thing either.”
“Shouldn’t your body be telling you to eat so the baby can grow? You need bigger meals three times a day and snacks too.”
Aleric rolled his eyes. “You can’t see it yet. It’s not like a…born baby. Whatever it needs to take from my body to grow isn’t a big deal now. I don’t need to start packing my face all day.”
Logic said he didn’t need to start eating a lot. Then again, Jaime probably had certain things wrong. He couldn’t even remember a single thing Mother ate while pregnant because atseven, he hadn’t thought about the logistics of pregnancy at all. All he knew was that the baby needed sustenance, so the one carrying it had to eat more. “I got a book from the library so I can learn about abundant males when they’re pregnant. Erm, I figured I’d take advantage of your library in case I get married later, and then you came in and told me you were pregnant...I wasn’t expecting this to say the least.”
