Scanning my face, he tentatively nods.
“You’re right. It is different.”
“Then you should understand exactly how I’m feeling,” I point out in a gentler tone. “I don’t care about me right now. All I want is my brother back. Nothing else matters.”
“You’re wrong. You matter.”
Staring up into the rugged planes of his face—soft olive-green eyes, plump lips and a strong, flat nose—I can feel my own pain looking back at me. Hyland knows better than most the crippling force of unadulterated guilt.
Hiding how twisted up all my chaotic emotions are feels like a futile endeavour. I know he can see straight through any mask I’d attempt to slide on. And honestly, I have nothing left in me to even bother.
Instead, I let it all out. Every last ugly, wretched emotion snarled up inside my nervous system, taunting me to the point of insanity. I let it all paint across my face in what is surely a vivid kaleidoscope of regret.
When his big, scarred hand reaches out to lightly brush along my jaw, heat burns behind my eyelids. Moisture swells up again before I can demand its retreat, pooling against my lower lashes.
“I understand better than anyone.” Sincerity shines through his stare. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and let you kill yourself just to save him.”
I hold my breath when the pad of his thumb swipes a stray tear from my skin. The vulnerability is excruciating. He can see it all. Every last conflicting urge taking me for a ride.
“Red,” he rumbles deeply.
“Don’t.”
“It’s okay to let it out. You can lean on us. Let us help you cope.”
Tongue darting out, I lick my lips, but the brief pause fails to conjure a response. There are no words. None that will get him off my back. He’s already peered inside my head.
Brushing aside another tear, his rough thumb moves to my bottom lip, smearing the moisture I swiped over it. I gasp when he pushes inside my mouth then withdraws.
“I need you to hear me, Ember.” His authoritative tone brooks no arguments. “We’re in this together. Trust us. Let us in.”
“I’m trying,” I whisper weakly.
“I need you to try harder.”
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
Nostrils flaring, his whole frame tenses up. “Because I care too much about you.”
Caught in a vortex, I’m drawn into the mossy pools that threaten to drag me beneath their all-consuming surface. The windows to his soul are a deep cavern I’ll never escape from. Not alive, at least.
Hyland doesn’t just see me.
Heevisceratesme.
Bulldozes every last defence and pointless boundary I’ve ever put in place to hold the world at arm’s length. His need to protect doesn’t obey the confines of social niceties. Nor does it respect my drive for independence.
“I care about you too,” I admit thickly.
A dark twinkle flashes in his eyes, filling them with a look of determination. Fingers tightening on my face, he leans in to brush his nose against mine, our lips a single, fateful breath apart.
“You do?” he teases.
“Yes, asshole.”
The hand clamping my shoulder slides lower, tracing down my arm then sneaking around my waist. I’m pulled flush against his chest, forcing my chin to tilt upward so I can see him.
Without the need for more words, Hyland’s mouth meets mine. It’s a gentle peck at first. Affirming. Tentative. Exploratory. Testing the waters to see if I’ll punch him in the head or not.
