He can’t choose for both of us.
Grabbing his wrist, I yank hard to make him look back at me. The ardent intensity of the craving in his eyes steals the limited breath I have left.
“I survived this long by hurting other people and letting them hurt me,” I spell out. “Pain is all I’ve known for the longest time.”
He seems to grit his teeth, like he’s holding something back.
“What does it tell you that I’m willing to join this team, to let people get close to me, knowing I could get hurt all over again?”
“I… don’t know,” Hyland admits.
“Then let me illuminate you. It means I’m choosing this. I’m choosing to trust you. To get close to you. To join this family and this team.”
Still, his firm jaw remains locked tight, keeping himself closed off. He won’t even allow himself to consider his own wants and needs, so I land the killer blow.
“I’mchoosingto get hurt if that’s what’s required. You don’t get the right to tell me whether that’s allowed or not.”
Releasing his wrist, I press a chaste kiss to his cheek before standing up. The sudden departure seems to penetrate his overwhelming doubt.
“Ember!” he thunders from behind me.
Walking to the edge of the boxing ring, I look back over my shoulder. He’s still crouched on the mat, frozen and fiercely staring at me.
“There are marks on your neck. Marks that weren’t there before you had dinner with Axel.”
Heat floods my cheeks, but I don’t look away. “And?”
“And… If you tear my family apart, I will truly have nothing left. Do you understand that?”
“I understand perfectly.”
“Then why are you playing this game?”
Every shitty answer I could placate him with flashes through my mind, but I won’t lie to him. I’m not that person. I’ve created this mess, and I will own it just as easily.
With a jittering hand, I gesture between us. “Does this feel like a game?”
“This being… us?”
I nod sharply.
“No,” he answers.
Struggling not to squirm under his intense attention, I watch him square his shoulders as if charging into battle.
“This isn’t a game for me, and I don’t think it is for you either.” He studies me intently. “Which begs the question… Why are you doing this?”
“Axel showed me that it’s okay to laugh and smile again. He gives me the space to feel light. Carefree. To feel alive.”
Hyland’s eyes shutter, anticipating a rejection. “I see.”
“And despite how unbearably overprotective and downright infuriating you can be… You make me feel safe. I feel like nothing and nobody can touch me when I’m in your presence.”
“Nobody would dare.” His tenor deepens into a hair-raising growl. “Not while I’m here.”
“Exactly.”
Tiny butterflies of fear take flight behind my ribcage, but I pay them no attention. I want him to understand. No, Ineedhim to understand.
