She’s crazy. But that shouldn’t surprise me. She’s a woman, after all.
“That’ll teach you to lurk outside at night in a hockey mask like an extra in a low budget horror movie.”
Yup. She’s definitely out of her fucking mind. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” I set the record straight.
“Did Luke tell you I liked the kiss at the party and you decided to mess with me? That’s low, even for an asshole like you.”
I shake my head, confused by everything she’s saying. “Jamie must have fucked whatever little sense you had out of you. You aren’t making any sense. You and your new boyfriend were so fucking loud that I couldn’t sleep and I went out for a walk. Poonani must have snuck out behind me and I just found her on the deck trying to attack something.”
She raises her voice. “Yes! She was trying to attack me.”
I don’t think she was. When I saw her, Poonani was looking in the opposite direction. She was pointing toward the thicket of trees that mark the end of campus on this side.
But I don’t say that to Bex. “Maybe you shouldn’t wander around the house at night practically naked. Poonani was just protecting her territory from something unusual.”
“I’m not naked!” she snaps, her voice going higher by a few octaves.
I’m about to tell her that I bet every fucking cent in my bank account that she isn’t wearing anything under Jamie’s jersey, but someone intervenes.
“Are you two trying to wake up the entire campus?” Connor appears from behind me in a pair of Cove Knights athletic shorts.
His t-shirt is tucked in his back pocket and his chest is glistening with sweat. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my roommate was getting ready to shoot a thirst trap video.
“Connor,” Bex gives him a once over. “What were you doing outside at this time?”
I can practically see her counting the abs on Connor’s six pack. That shouldn’t bother me, but it fucking does.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Connor offers. “So I went out for a run.”
“Oh.” Her eyes travel back up to Connor’s face. “I couldn’t sleep either. There must be something in the air tonight.”
Connor rubs the back of his neck, his tone apologetic. “Actually, it was you.”
Bex brings a dainty hand to her chest, surprised. “Come again?”
“Jamie’s room is between mine and Keene’s. The walls are pretty thin in here.”
She doesn’t blush, she goes a deep crimson. Her eyes now staring at her painted toenails as she babbles her apology.
“Ha.” I chuckle, feeling vindicated. “See? I told you. Next time you want some dick, maybe choke on it, rather than keeping the rest of the house awake.”
I know it’s rude, but I’m still reeling from the fact that she’s living with us after I was clear about my feelings about having her as a roommate.
“Who wants some dick?” Jamie comes to stand behind his girlfriend. “You ok, baby?”
She turns to look at him, letting him pull her against his side. “I’m fine. Keene was just offering me some advice on how to take your dick.”
My teammate looks confused. “He was?”
Bex nods. “Yeah. Apparently he’s the expert on choking on dick and he was giving me some pointers.”
I open my mouth to say something, but I’m too shocked to find an appropriate barb to throw back at her. All I can come up with is an incoherent. “I didn’t mean that. I?—”
Connor intervenes to save me from this embarrassing pickle. No pun intended. “I think we should all go back to sleep.” He slaps my back, entering the house when Jamie and Bex move to allow him in. “We have our first early morning skate in just a few hours. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to find out what kind of punishment Coach will invent this year if we’re late to practice.”
I listen to the voice of reason, carrying Poonani—who’s now asleep in my arms—into the house.
“Dick.” Bex mutters under her breath.
