Just the thought of him, of his hands around my throat, pressing my windpipe, causes a shiver of fear and disgust.
I thought he was going to kill me.
That thought brings up another memory. The way Jamie and Connor beat up those guys who grabbed me last night.
On a rational level, I know they reacted that way to protect me. I know I should thank them.
But the way they kept beating on those men, even after they were clearly not in a position to cause any more harm, scared the shit out of me.
That unbridled, explosive violence is something that destroys everything in its wake if left out of control.
It’s a shame, because I liked Jamie and Connor. They’re both drop dead gorgeous and I think they liked me too.
But one minute we were flirting and the next…
I can’t deal with that kind of violence. Besides, I don’t even know how long I’m gonna be here in Star Cove.
Luke stayed with Shane at the Gamma house last night, giving me his room. But I doubt I can stay here long. These are accommodations reserved for student athletes and I don’t even go to school here.
Visiting for a couple of nights is one thing, but if Luke got caught letting me stay here, he could get expelled.
There’s also the fact that I don’t deserve my brother’s help after the way I cut him out of my life.
Just because our father said so. I roll on my side, taking a deep breath. I have a lot of amends to make with my brother and my whole life to figure out. When I left Bridgeport yesterday, I left everything behind.Pure Shineowns everything. All my monetized social media accounts with millions of followers, every endorsement and sponsorship deal, were made with my father’s talent agency as the main beneficiary. Without him, I’m broke and I’m nobody.
Movement catches my eye, and for a second I feel disoriented. What’s that on the nightstand?
Then some of yesterday’s events come back to me. Before everything ended in that scary fight, I was riding a real high. I had won that dart game, and my prize is looking at me. Lady Marmalade is swimming in the glass pitcher on my nightstand. That’s her temporary home.
I look at the small goldfish, and a pang of anxiety weighs on me. I don’t even know where I’m gonna sleep tonight. How can I take care of a pet? Even though it’s just a goldfish, this little creature now depends on me for her very survival.
“Don’t worry, Lady M,” I say, getting out of bed. “We’ll find a solution. One way or another, we’ll survive. And I promise I’ve got you, girl.”
After using the bathroom, where I find some concealer to help me hide my bruises — thank goodness for a twin brother who cares about looking hot—I take the glass pitcher with me into the open space living room and kitchen.
Last night, I borrowed a Star Cove Knights t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts from Luke’s dresser. The only thing I could change into is what’s left of my wedding dress, but I can’t go around campus and town dressed like a cake topping on a Saturday morning. I’ll have to find some clothes asap, but I have no money. I hate the idea of asking Luke for even more help.
“Hmm,” I muse, opening and closing the fridge and a couple of cabinets. “I don’t know where everything is. And I don’t want to wake everyone by making too much noise. Let’s just find you a slice of bread, Lady M. And maybe some caffeine for me.”
In the end, I find a loaf of white bread and steal a slice. There’s a coffee maker on the counter, one of those fancy pod systems. I’ve never been a huge coffee drinker and have no idea where to find the coffee pods, so I settle for a cold Diet Coke instead.
There’s a table at one end of the kitchen, but I spot a small round table outside on the condo’s patio.
Some fresh air will help me think about what’s next. I take Lady M and set her down on the table, sprinkling a couple of crumbs from the bread I found her.
My stomach growls, and I take a nibble from the corner of the slice of bread. “I hope you don’t mind sharing, girl.” I tell the fish.
She’s too busy swimming to the surface to get the tiny crumbs of bread to care about answering my question. There’s no way she could eat a ton of the bread, anyway. She’s only a tiny creature, and I don’t want to over feed her.
Empty your mind from all the static noise. Purge your inner self from all the toxins that come from the outside world and turn in on yourself. Feel your inner light, connect with it, and let it guide your next steps. The answer to every question is right there, inside your inner being. All you have to do is to reach deep enough to find it.
“Meow, meow.”
I open my eyes, shaking my head to banish my father’s voice from the guided meditation we used to have to do at the beginning and at the end of every day.
A small black cat is on the table, its tail swishing lazily from side to side. The feline’s green eyes assess me for a second. I must be deemed unworthy of attention, because the cat’s attention is now focused on the glass pitcher in front of me.
“Meow.” It circles the glass, throwing a suspicious look at the goldfish inside it. “Meow.”
