I consider his words. “Maybe. I just hope Jamie knows what he’s doing. He seems smitten with her, but if he just ditches her when he gets bored, Luke isn’t gonna be happy with him.” I’ve been giving this some thought. And while Jamie looks like a changed man, I don’t want Bex to get hurt if he goes back to his old ways.
“Yeah, but Bex isn’t a child. I’m sure she’s aware of her boyfriend’s reputation.” Keene bites out, his tone vaguely disgusted. “I’d worry more about who warned Jamie about trusting someone who obviously has ulterior motives for dating him.”
“Come again?”
Keene glares at Bex and Jamie. “Isn’t it obvious why she’s sleeping with him? We said no to her moving in, and Jamie was an easy target.”
“I don’t know. Have you seen the way they look at each other?” Jealousy brings a bitter taste into my mouth. “Whatever brought them together, it’s obvious they really are into each other.” I’ve seen that first hand, up close and fucking personal.
My roommate doesn’t look convinced. “Yeah. Until he cheats or she reveals her true colors.”
Looking at Keene, it dawns on me that the way his marriage ended did some true damage.
I understand how he feels, at least in part. But no matter how much Fiona hurt me, I need to find a way to get past it. I don’t want to become as jaded as my teammate. Not trusting women is a self-defense mechanism for him. The end result, however, is a deep loneliness. Keene is shielding himself from being betrayed again, but the price might be his future happiness.
“Right.” He exhales, clasping a hand over my shoulder. “I’m here because Professor Cantucci was harping on participation. I think I’ve suffered long enough. I’m gonna go say hi to her before I leave. Are you staying, or do you want to grab a bite somewhere? This finger food just makes me more hungry.”
“Nah,” I shrug. “I’m going to hang around for a bit. Can’t pass up on the free bar.”
He looks at me for a long moment. “Ok. Just remember that we have practice in the morning and a game tomorrow night.”
“I’ve got it. Don’t worry.”
As Keene walks away, I think about what he just said. Not the stuff about Bex and Jamie. He looked worried about me.
While he didn’t say it out loud, I think he noticed how I’ve been using alcohol like a crutch.
Keene hadn’t met me before my breakup, and doesn’t know that this isn’t me. I never used to drink myself into a numb stupor.
For some reason, the thought that he might think that I’m a drunk bothers me.
What bothers me even more is the realization that I drink to avoid thinking about my ex.
It’s not like I’ve ever shied away from a good party, but I used to stop at a good buzz. Drinking myself into oblivion is something I started doing last spring after my ex told me that she had met someone else.
I was about to order another drink, but I stop in my tracks. The first step to truly get over Fiona isn’t dating again. My problem isn’t being jaded like Keene. Until I drink to avoid confronting my feelings, it’s like I let my ex and her shitty actions define who I am.
It’s up to me to take control of my own destiny. Yes, I was in love and she crushed me. But if I think about that relationship, maybe it wasn’t as perfect as I wanted to believe. Had Fiona been the one, she would have never fucked someone else behind my back.
Chapter24
Shenanigans
Connor
The sound of shattered glass pulls me out of my introspection.
The commotion seems to come from the opposite end of the makeshift bar.
“Dude. Watch it.” Jamie pulls Bex closer to his side. His stance is protective.
“Sorry, Jamie.” Tucker’s apology comes out slurred. “I just thought this whole thing was a joke.”
Jamie has his back to me, so I can’t see his face. But it’s impossible to miss the way he tenses up.
“What’s a joke is that you’d get shit faced at an event where the Dean and Coach are in attendance, the night before our first game.”
Tucker’s huge hand was probably aimed at Jamie’s shoulder, but he grossly miscalculates the trajectory. He ends up slapping against a few glasses of wine the bartender had lined up on a tray, ready to be picked up by the servers.
