“I trust you to find a way to follow through if I can’t, and you could maybe even relate to her, about losing a part of your life.”
There it is—the energy that has fueled her life blooms, just ever so more, in the name of my life’s purpose. When it’s clearI’m not letting go of her as I grip her hip tighter, she gives a quick huff.
She doesn’t move.
If anything, her body stiffens, and all the warmth that was right here rescinds. She turns her head as if she wants to look away, but it gets stuck as she can’t take her eyes off of me, like too many questions hit her at once. “It kills me you’re stuck in this because of me, even if I’m stuck in it too. You shouldn’t be worrying about your actual death over me.”
Now my guilt mounts slightly more, knowing that even if I hated her, I’m tied to her with Cypress. But I don’t want to tell her, because at the same time, the guilt doesn’t destroy me. It’s all to protect the heart of my desert rose, and so she doesn’t have to question my motives.
“It is what it is, Jane. I imagine Cypress has worked endlessly to get our paths to cross, because I bet she knew once I touched you, you’d have your fatherandme willing to do what’s necessary to prevent them from having you.”
Her heart returns to me, even if cautiously. “Stop saying you’re going to die,” she mumbles.
“Agree to the deal.”
So much comes my way that I swear I can nearly hear her voice in my mind, and it takes me aback. In such a swift wave, one where she’s saddened by something I don’t have access to, overpowered by her just wanting this to all to be left behind.
I lick my lips before saying, “Whatever you’re hiding, you have three days before I’ll demand it from you.” She looks at me like I invaded more than she expected. “In the meantime, make this deal with me so I can let go of it and know that Serena will one day be told I didn’t forget her.”
It works.
She has a desire to fight for this that will be as strong as her own, and I really do trust Jane can figure this out.
“What do you want out of this, Soren? Out of you and me?”
It’s something she’s longed to ask, but didn’t want the possible disappointment that men like me are so prone to delivering. My hand moves to her navel, sliding my fingers under her shirt to feel the warmth of her skin. I can nearly physically feel the affection she harbors right in my palm. “What I want? All my men have someone to think about when they die. I’d like that for myself.”
More than ever, the sliver of transparency into hertrueheartopens, as if she’s allowing herself to give in. A hand of hers raises to my cheek, her other hand mimicking the action—I’m not used to someone touching me like this, not with my face.
Jane usually is only ever physically affectionate after I’ve initiated.
The pressure of her palms moves my face up, and she looks me dead in the eyes. “I already told you, you go and die on me, and I’m bringing you back just to slap you for it. It’s not a part of what’s going to happen.”
I don’t know if it’s the damn tonic I drank earlier, Cypress’s rubies making me fall for her more, or if this is just how this shit works, but my body is alive with something new. “We can’t control our death, love. But we can control how we live.”
“I just—I can’t lose anyone else.”
“Then you’ll never gain anyone, either.”
Her eyes vibrate back and forth so much it’s as if she isn’t even looking at me. I raise a hand and grab one of hers, pulling it from my face to my lips to gently kiss her slightly cold fingers. There’s so much desire emitting from her, so much joy at something so gentle.
The sensation of being able to explore every minute change of her heart is impossible to put a price on; I’m the foundation she can lay her new identity with, and she’s embracing it at this very moment.
I need this validation, too.
I need to not just feel adoration, but tobeloved.
Pulling her down, I press my lips into hers, a warm puff of air escaping her nose. Jane’s weight slowly shifts to leaning into me, and I already know how to make her bodysing.Wrapping my arm around her waist, her bones nearly melt at my strength, so weak to being small withme.I pull her other leg around so she’s forced to sit in my lap. I fucking love how powerful that makes me feel, her warm lips moving with mine, teeth slightly clashing as my tongue dips deep into her mouth, a moan spilling from her throat. Each second that passes, her heart is ripped more open than before. It’s maddeningly addicting to kiss a woman that means so much to me.
Being low on blood doesn’t seem to matter as my cock has no issues hardening, pressing against my pants. My hands glide down to Jane’s hips, digging my fingers into her body to drop her further into my lap, her pussyrightover where it belongs. Her moan vibrates into my mouth, and my eyes part to see hers slightly rolling behind partially closed lids. “I have an idea,” she moans into the kiss. Something mischievous crosses her gaze, those pupils blown. “You need to take it easy.”
When she tries to wriggle away, my first instinct is to tighten my grip until a wave of her energy makes it seem like she wants to choke on my cock. I let her loose almost as soon as I understand, groaning deeply as my legs spread while her fingers work at the lacing of my pants. I grab her hand, and when our gazes meet, I canfeelhow whatever expression I have makes her unwind.
“I want itallremoved.Yourclothes,” I instruct, looking over her body.
She gives a wolfish grin, biting her bottom lip as she pulls off her shirt, auburn hair rippling back down; her nipples are hard, and her flesh is so perfectly supple. I undo my pants and belt,taking in every inch of a body that bends so easily for me. She’s just as swift to remove her shoes and pants, purposely turning to the side as she bends over to reach her ankles, her pink pussy on full display. “This better?” she purrs.
“You have no idea,” I say, hearing my voice drop an octave, wanting to slide my cock in between that perfect slit that I know is warm, wet, and ready to clench down hard on me.
