She motions in the direction behind me. “Directly that way, through the stone, is where the ocean meets this city. There’s a vast world in which aquatic life is born, lives, and dies within. Meanwhile, we exist on dry land. They will never know the refreshing smell of campfire smoke, and we will never know how refreshing freezing water might actually feel.
“Humans are like the fish underneath the ocean’s surface, and the gods are likeus, above the water. It’s hard for them to exert perfect control when they can only skim the surface, so they have conduits like me to do it for them.” She pauses and glances at me with a mixture of pity and pride in her onyx eyes. “And Misery plans to exist in the ocean without consequence… to which the Cinders, likeyou, will allow.”
“No, Dad made it seem like Misery neededme.”
Her lips tighten, her eyes widening before narrowing; I don’t think she intended for that. “Then I will say this—you are uniquely qualified, in ways you do not know, to betheconduit for Misery. Donotask me further on that.” Her voice rises like a crescendo, as if to speak over my thoughts.
If I thought I felt murderous before, then I’m not quite sure how to describe the violence inside of me now. “You know howmessed upit is to tell someone these things and then just demand that they asknomore questions?” I shake my head, placing my hands on my hips. “Also, I’d literally jump off a cliff before then. Hells, I can get pretty creative on how to off myself beforethathappens. Actually,” I pause, the concept a morbid one, my hand raised slightly as my finger lazily points upward. “Why don’t you just kill me now? Rob him of that? Come to think of it, why isn’t there a bounty on my head? If I’m aconduit, as you say.”
“Because no one knows other than his close followers, and your willingness to keep it that way will do great good for you,” she purrs, her approval making me slightly lurch. “But I do warn you not to allow yourself to die, Jane. You partaking in Misery’s undoing isessentialto minimizing the catastrophe that otherwise would occur. Because if he takes over the Balar Coasts, then his moniker will be understood to a depth that will scar these lands for hundreds of years, if not thousands. Where he might need you to regain a human form in thisdecade, you’re not essential in the grand web of the fates. Instead, it’s his steadfastfocuson you that is essential to hisdemise, especially with my helping you. We haveonechance to make this happen.
“You’re a distraction I have been very patient in waiting for, while also maximizing your likelihood of living. You are, in essence,myultimate gamble, and even if he’s aware of that, I think he’s too greedy to care, and too self-important to see me as atruethreat. You dying would mean I’d have to start entirelyover, and that gives him an upper hand I’m not willing to risk.” She bores her gaze into me. “You die, and I can guaranteemanyon this continent will die.Especiallythose associated with you.”
The only way I can describe this out-of-body experience is as if I’ve stumbled upon an ancient curse that exists only in nighttime folklores told next to candlelight, and it turns out it’s actually real, undeniable, and utterly mind-blowing. It’s so tempting to immediately believe her, because in many ways, so much is explained. But there’s a resistance that screams at me that I’m an idiot for eventhinkingabout considering her words.
Well, what if whatever she does to me is minimal? I can work with that.“Okay… say I agree to this. Can I even take on a god? Are we sure of that? I’m not exactly qualified.”
“Everythinghas a weakness, especially in our realm. Morvock’s soul is raw in this state, and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you have incredible influence over what happens next.”
It’s like there’s a bunch of river stones in my gut, sinking lower with each breath. My mind races with everything that’s ever happened in my life, to every scar I’ve earned, to the latency of my teens and early twenties. It’s not that I even really feardying,but I dread the unknown of it all, the demand beyond my skill.
Iloathenot knowing if I have to bury another person I love. Gods, even the thought of that makes my heart turn to lead.
My gaze only rises once IswearI can hear my mother’s voice again, always there to comfort me in the recesses of my mind. This isn't just about me or my revenge. No, this would be for Soren’s sister, and the heartache that humanizes him to me. For Maryanne and her children. If Cypress is being truthful, then it sounds like she’s gambling with my life, and she’s placing alotof worth on that bet.
What’s the worst that happens? I gain a defense against Misery? He’s coming for me, so that seems like an obvious answer. “What did you want to do with me?” I quietly ask.
“I will implant something under your skin that prevents anyone from reading you,” she gently replies. “The time isn’t right now. Not yet. I thought it best to give you a warning, so you’d have time to really consider it. But as I said—minimal.”
“I—EvenSoren? As in,hecouldn’t read me?” The question tumbles from my lips before I can restrain myself, my voice utterly saturated with concern.No, I love that he can read me.
“Even him.”
My breathing grows labored, my chest heaving with each inhale. “I don’t want Soren to not read me.”
“He will, again. One day. Once I remove it when Morvock is no longer a threat. Morvock has the same ability to read people, and it’s best to prevent him from using it on you.”
“But if Soren can sense when someone is blocked, won't Misery also be able to detect it in me?" I protest, examining the scenario as if it’s a precious stone and I need to rule out all compromising details.
“Oh, yes. He will be able to tell, almost certainly right away. And he will not be surprised that I have taken precautions,” Cypress reassures. “He will not have a choice on whether he keeps you. Herequiresyou, at least, to fulfillthisgrand scheme he’s plotting.”
The question about whatexactlyhe wants with me rests on the tip of my tongue, but I know she won’t answer. She’ll probably just give another fucking metaphor about a boat or some rum. I finally sit in my father’s seat when it’s the closest to me, and my knees are about to give out; closing my eyes, placing a hand over my face, and speaking through my fingers, “You are so exhausting.”
“I should let you know that I plan to do this to you whether you like it or not. It is important you have time to mull this over, so when the time comes, you are ready.”
“Such aconsiderateperson,” I quip, throwing her a look through my parted fingers and then focus back on my hands, only to close them again when those damn eyes are still completely black. “Do you mean for me to kill him or something? Because I want a lot more than something implanted in me for that. Like a new, special skill. Something a lot more useful than not being able to burn. Maybe a dagger that makes me stronger, or something like a Zenith’s mask.”
I swear I hear genuine humor in her barely audible chuckle. “All those things can and will be taken from you, if he apprehends you. And I don’t know ifyouwill kill him or not, but you have immense potential to be the toughest challenge he will face. If you do not hold the blade that will stab him, I have no doubt you will pass it to the person whowill.”
I’m tired of this and lean back in my father’s makeshift throne, staring at the floor. “When will it happen?”
No matter the intensity of what’s occurring here, there’s so much relief in having a real plan. Something crafted by Cypress herself, a lifeline promised by the witch that, for better or worse, I believe might actually help me because she’s desperate to make her god happy.
It’s better than nothing.
“Soon, and when it feels right for me to come back to you. It’s also pertinent to mention that I wouldn’t tell anyone of this, either,” she warns, leaving that statement to hang between us for a moment. “If someone gets the idea that your death robs Misery of his rebirth, then you’ll have the largest bounty on your head since Scarlet Ironjaw.”
I frown at the name, having no freaking idea whothatis. Cypress stands up, her gaze sweeping over me with anunreadable intensity. “I also wouldn’t tell Soren about what is planned, about the fact that I intend to block the ability to feel you. Or your father. They will take that to mean Miserywillget you, and take extreme actions that will ruin the ripples I have so carefully orchestrated. This plan is between you andme, because remember Jane, you’re capable within your own right. It’s in your blood… we’ll see each other again, very soon.”
