He’s probably reading every wave of what I feel.
Kathleen’s gaze drops back to the floor, silent tears running down her cheek;thatbreaks my heart. “It’s been eating away at me, Jane. Ever since I heard your dad came back.”
“Well… I don’t know. I trust my dad, I think. I trustSoren, and he can read your heart—” I tut;I bet he knows, that’s why I’m in here “—so, I’ll trust you, okay?”
She nearly smiles at me, the expression shaky, like that takes her off guard. “Did they hit you on the head too hard?”
A laugh rolls out of me. “I think alotof wounds finally closed.”
That really does seem to ease her guilt, and she straightens her back before sighing deeply. “You have no idea how good it is to say this out loud. To even—well, let me go back to where it started. My mother,” her voice shakes with emotion as she moves her thumb along her forefinger, over and over. “Mysweetmother. Sorry, I don’t mean to cry. I was thinking about her before you came in here. When mom died, I was only twelve summers, and the only work I knew wasRosmertta’s, and I knew I didn’t want that for myself. So I left, but I didn’t get far before I was caught by men who used to keep an eye on her.”
Kathleen connects her gaze with mine. I know her enough to know that I should remain where I’m at, rather than go to her; she wants the space. “I was born in Skull’s Row, Jane. In the very house where we were kept for a while. Rosmertta gave us free shelter in exchange for my mother’s services, and that just solidified as I got older and was willing to do the dishes, then the laundry, then clean. After Mom died, men who were willing to sell literallyanythingto make a coin caught me.” Her voice thins with rage. “And so they took me to an auction. Idevelopedearly, as they said. I had a lot of people betting on me, then suddenly, my auction went silent as I was taken off stage and brought to the man that purchased me.” She draws in a slow, steady breath. “It was your father.”
My jaw drops with a disgust I wasn’t prepared to feel. Kathleen raises her brows and shakes her head. “He immediately explained that he’s not buying me for that, but rather for something else. He wanted me to go to Coalfell and live there to beyourfriend. Said a witch told him I’d be good for you.”
Staring at my hands, I eye the tattoo on either wrist. To the goddess that may or may not have helped me, to thinkingof Cypress servinghergod. I simply never imaginedKathleenbeing involved in all of these secrets.
She sighs. “He then told me my gran lived there, which, turns out, she did. I honestly never knew, and apparently the entire time she had begged my father to learn about my whereabouts… your father told me that if I were to fail in befriending you, he’d send me back to Skull’s Row, because he couldn’t risk you knowing about him.”
My natural smile fades, my gaze lowering.
“I’m so sorry that I knew, Jane. If I said anything, he’d take me away. And once we got to know each other, I realized how much you needed me. And how I needed you. Same with my gran.”
Shaking my head, I say, “No… it’s—I’m okay. It’s so strange to think the Scorpionorchestratedmy life, along with Cypress. And now I just feel...” I look at the tea table in a home that belongs to Soren, the details so comfortingly mundane. “Different.”
“Well, I always thought you just needed a good fucking, but honestly Jane, I think youdoneed the violence to think straight.” I throw my gaze right back at her, and she smiles. “You’re so much more confident in yourself when hitting people. Maybe it’s just who you are.” She grins as if she’s been eager to say this for so long, “Makes sense given it’s in your blood.”
I return the warmth, and it feels so healing to believe that in all of this shit, Kathleen isstillmy family. “So, if this is all true, then you knew my dad was Ern this entire time?”
Kathleen nods, reluctance returning in her green gaze. “Alright, fine. I’m really sorry, though, Jane. I mean it. I wouldn’t have?—”
I interject with, “It’s okay, Kathleen. I—” pausing, as I’m about to admit words I didn’t realize meant so much to me, “I understand. We do what we have to.”
Her plump lips curl into a smile as she brings her clenched hands to her mouth. “He would also sometimes act as a merchant traveling through to check up on you. I was always so scared when he’d ride into town because I was afraid he wasn’t going to be happy, but eventually I realized he just literally wanted you to not be alone.
“There was one time, when we were about sixteen, and you drank too much. Oh, he was so mad. Someone else had been slipping you extra ale when Ern—your dad, really—wasn’t looking. He took me out back, and we got you on a carriage. I think he might have killed that man, actually.”
My gods, it’s real, isn’t it? Something in me knows this is the truth, even if it’s too much to grasp. “Yeah, Ern told me later that he was sorry it happened…” I whisper, speaking while emotionally removed. “He said he knew I hated being that drunk, which I still do.”
“It was really sweet,” Kathleen confesses, like she’s been hiding a secret for so long and can finally talk about it. “He had touched your hair. He looked so sad.”
There’s something about that image that ignites everything in my bones, and somehow saddens me, because where is that man now? Where’s that loving father? My nostrils flare, my lips trembling. The heavy rise and fall of my shoulders makes my injured lung hurt. Gods I’m ready to get all this healing over with so I can stop wanting to cry.
Kathleen pivots on her seat, but still doesn’t rise. “Jane, I know you said it’s okay, but I mean it—if I could havehintedat it, I would have. It killed me not to tell you. To play ignorant when speaking of your father. But then he told me, after a time, that it was a witch that bound him from seeing you, and that if the witch found out—and that shewouldif we spoke of it to you—then everything would fall apart. Including your own life. I played the role because I had to. But it was easy, because youaremy friend. The only part that royally pissed me off was seeing how broken you were, and knowingwhy, but not being able to help you.”
I crinkle my nose, touching my eyes and trying to control myself until I stand and near Kathleen. No words are said for her to understand that I want to embrace her, and the next thing I know, I’m gripping her like she might disappear. “I’m sorry those people tried to sell you,” I say through a shaky voice, imagining killing them for her, especially now that I know Ican. I’m not helpless anymore. I’m notstuck.
She laughs into my shoulder and pets my hair. “It’s okay. I think Bones plans to kill them and make me something out of their bones. He was royally pissed when I told him.”
I pull back and touch her hair that’s on her shoulder as we face each other, brimming with new purpose. I’m also not alone, not with Kathleen. Not with someone who has known me for so long.
“Where did he stash you?” I ask.
“Stash me? Like I’m his acorns?”
We both share a deep laugh; I missed her so fucking much. “I asked about you, and he refused to tell me but reassured me he stashed you away nice and safe.”
She looks away, shaking her head. “Oh, that man… I got taken to a small village in the Restless Peaks. They mine metals there, and he let me take my gran. We just said we were refugees from Coalfell. I dyed my hair and eyebrows for it. Spent five days washing it once I got the word that we were safe.” Those green eyes finally look like the woman I know. “Everyone trusted us because Bones sent us with his cousin, who is a traveling merchant that frequents the area.”
