I propel myself toward him, unleashing a torrent of blows on his chest. The impact forces the Scorpion to take the smallest step back to brace himself. As I strike my father with my other hand, my wrists ache from slamming so hard.
It’s strange to touch him after so long. It’s even stranger how much it breaks my heart to strike him.
It’s too much. All of it is. The truth that he isaliveand has been close the entire time, that he seems annoyed more than happy to see me—this isnotthe dad I remember.
Glancing up at his face, he doesn’t seem to feel a fucking thing. I pound on his chest again like it’s a wooden door, and I’m trying to get the attention ofanyoneinside.
“Youleftme!” I cry out, shoving both hands into his chest, feeling my palms dig into his body. “Now you say you were around this entire time, and even talked to me when Kathleen and I would visit! Ineededyou! Itrustedyou! That you would come for me!”
Heat sears my veins, and my cheeks flush as tears flow freely. The next time I hit his chest—without any friction from him—only a visceral sound escapes rather than any words of hurt.
When my imagination gets the best of me and plays a scenario in my head of him sitting at a table, all happy and eating a hot meal at Ern’s Pub while I’m all alone in Coalfell, sleeping in the rented attic space infested with rats that I occupied foryears…
My hand is at my hip, sliding out a dagger as I aimrightfor the heart. Right where he taught me?—
My father tightly grips my wrist as my seething mixes with a shaky exhale. Through tears, I say, “I swear to all the fucking gods, if you have a second family out there and were playing daddy dearest to them while Iwaitedfor you, I’ll send them your head myself. Ern would talk about hisfamily?—”
“Jane,” the Scorpion warns.
I eye the tip of the dagger that’s pointedrightat his chest, blood trickling down my knuckles; I must have hit one of the buckles on his leather straps.
“I lied about having a family,” he breathes. “It’s only you. You are my only family.”
I yank my hand back, and he releases me, only for it to be caught by another. The Scorpion’s eyes flare with danger as I realize that Soren is behind me and holding my hand back, prompting space between my father and me.
“My daughter doesn’t need protection fromme,” the Scorpion hisses.
“You’re either not who you say you are, or your mental state has been altered if you think any aspect of you istrustworthy. Jane, of all people, won’t give it so easily.”
My dad’s scoff is bitter and judgmental. “Don’t pretend as if youknowher.”
“And stop pretending as if the last decade of her life hasn’t torn her apart.”
The words of recognition stroke against the angry demon in my chest, contradicting the fury that clearly leaches from feelings regarding my father.The tension in my body slightly loosens, my arm sagging even if still firmly gripped.
“And how hard would it be to remove you?” my father asks, nodding to Soren. “You’re only here because of my good graces. Nothing more.”
“Soren goesnowhere,” I hotly reply, my arm tensing again. “Or you and I willneverspeak again.”
There’s the smallest flash of emotion in my father’s eyes, but it only exists within the space of a heartbeat, potentially never at all.It’s so unlike him…Silence settles in the room like a thick fog, like a bunch of thieves waiting to see who will stab first, to which Soren eventually releases me but positions his body slightly in front.
This is going so terribly.
No‘I missed you, Jane. I’m sorry I lied to you for over a decade.’
No embrace.
No sheer relief that we’refinallymeeting without the skin suit of another man.
The man I remember would have stood instantly from his chair and held me for as long as I wanted him to.
I think—I think that father isgone.
When there’s enough silence between us for me toacceptthat fact, I shake my head as the words pour out of me, “Well, if thatgrandreintroduction is over with, you need to start talking before I lose my shit and find a way to gut you, as I’m doing alotto keep it together.”
His harsh eyes gentle, the lines of his face momentarily giving way. His sigh is clearly burdened with regret; evenIcan see that, but he has to earn the luxury of mebelievinghim. “I honestly didn’t know how to come to you, Jane. I still don’t even know how or where to start. I waited here in the Undercroft as Ern, as a place to begin.”
He sucks in air as if he’s about to continue, but nothing more comes out.
