Walking along the narrow path that edges the water, I voluntarily leave the sirens behind, steeling my resolve as if I’ve never felt a single emotion, glancing back to look at them every few steps until they’re finally out of view.
My head nearly slumps forward in relief when I sigh, so relieved that this is all forsomething. That I didn’t risk my life just for the sake of bravado.
There’s a real plan. A real web I’m stuck in.One I have to strike a deal with its rubied spider before I can be set free.
Around the corner is Jesper, the candlelight casting dark shadows on his face. We both stare at each other, the leader of the Order of Ash slightly moving his head as if to ask me what my opinion is. “Nothing to say? Not worth pleading for them? Or thanking me?”
“Ihighlydoubt anything I ask for will be granted,” I say, so much of my being fortified now.
He takes a step closer, clasping his hands together. “Morvock says that Cypress has helped you. Has she coached you to exist without emotion while here?”
He’s studying me, like he plans to use my weaknesses.
“That witch uses any and all for her own gain.” For the first time, it didn’t feel right to speak ill of her. I’ll be dead shocked if she was actually right, this entire time, that I would understand the entirety of her actions once I saw the whole painting.
Irritation flares across his features, and he leans into my face. “You’re not as strong as you think you are.”
Exasperation breeds both courage and imprudence within me. “Why are you complaining?” I ask. “I haven’t fought youonce. What do you want from me?”
“Come here,” he commands, waving to me. Not an inch of me moves, so he narrows the space for us until his arm strikes out like a snake, gripping my hair.
Alright, I might chop this stuff off if people won’t stop doing this. “What are youdoing?”
“You are lucky,” he warns, although his tone is as calm as ever, looking me dead in the eyes. “Morvock has a strict chain of commands for his use of you, which means I don’t want theseun-accostedtimes to get to your head.Iam your salvation in this, Jane. If you try to grit and bear any of it, you will fail.” I yell out when he pulls on my hair even more, almost growling as I try to claw at his wrists but I’ve chewed off the edges of my nails. He moves us both over to a brazier, and I try to keep his pace to take the pressure off my scalp. He holds my facerightnext to it, pressing on the back of my head so the flame licks my cheeks. I close my eyes and hold my breath… but again, nothing happens. It just feels like I’ve submerged myself into a very warm, bright wall of mist that makes me clench my eyes shut.
At some point, he pulls me back but doesn’t release his grip on my hair. “Put your hand in.”
I do so, wishing he’d just let go of me.
I leave it in there, the flames dancing through my fingers. The fire is warm; gentle. My clothes begin to singe, but my skin looks perfect.Somehow, someway, this has to be useful to me…
He laughs and lets go, tossing me so I stumble, hitting my knee hard on the ground. I wince with closed eyes, the pain sharp and stretching through my leg.
“Beautiful,” he says under his breath. “Absolutely wonderful. One day, that power will bemine. And Morvock is right—your bravado is your weakness.”
Something pushes my shoulder and I tumble over, getting really fucking tired of him doing this to me.Don’t fight him back. I lift my head to face him, and Jesper slightly leans down. “When you bear me our children, you will sacrifice your skin to Morvock because you need tosavethem. Whether or not you live in misery between now and then is your choice. You might put on a facade, but the fear in your eyes when the fire gets too close reveals the truth. My men say you risked your life in Coalfell when they burned it down, searching for you, as we knew the flames wouldn’t harm you. But you were afraid. The fear in your eyes wasreal.” He squats down. “I should let you know that these sirens are not going to live for much longer. Every time one of them dies in there, I’ll bring you her corpse; we sort of have a plan for their blood, but we don’t need the flesh. We’ll keep the one named Melona alive the longest, don’t you worry. But we cannot save her once she is the only one remaining. Maybe even force-feed you somefishsoup.” He gives a shaky laugh. “Leave an eyeball or two floating in there.”
Without much transition, he picks me up and pushes me forward. Angry words nearly spill out of me, but I clamp down my tongue, which turns into a weird growl.
They will be coming for you…
Free the sirens.
It’s a long trek back to my tower, Jesper handing me over to guards while he walks ahead. My head pounds from residual trauma and the way he yanked on it just now, and I try not to make it obvious that I’m eager to memorize this place.
Once I’m returned to my cell in the highest tower of this castle, I stand there for a long time before sinking down onto the cold floor, right smack dab in the center of the room, over the rug. Mom’s sunrise meditations come back to me, an act I'd skip because stillness was never something I enjoyed. But as I sit here, staring at the fire in the hearth, an energy centralizes at my wrists.
My magic.
I’m not alone. I am connected to this healing magic. I look at my hands, then roll them over to stare at the blue tattoos. There has to be use in here, too. Cypress chose me for a reason. “Help me heal the sirens. Help mefreethem. They suffer in there, and I can get them out. I needhelp. Can you do anything?”
Embarrassment eats away at any hope that my goddess might be useful to me now, as only the sound of a crackling fire answers me.
Closing my eyes, I try to drown everything out as I focus on sending healing magic into my knee.
Thereisan answer here, somewhere.
Iwillfind it.
