It just hurts and feels great all at the same time. It is confusing. Having his attention on me again feels like it had in high school, like I hung the moon and stars in his world, like I was important to him, and not because I was some famous musician, but because I was Felicity. I was City Girl to him and nothing more.
But I don’t want to go down that road.
Jax doesn’t know the truth, and I am not ready to come out with it.
Not to mention, I was currently being told to keep it to myself until Zack and I had some sort of agreement.
I was terrified of what that would entail. The thought of having to ship my baby to California every other week or something for shared custody scared the shit out of me.
I’d have to just move back, and I don’t want to do that. But I know Zack would never move to Acton, and having him do so feels like tainting this small piece of my world that I don’t want to taint.
I shake the thoughts from my head, moving on to happier things. Like the fact that my house is a couple of weeks away from move-in ready.
I am bursting at the seams to get into it. As much as I love my parents, and being home with them again was so nice, I am ready to spread my wings again and get my life back.
“Are you excited for this weekend?” Mom asks, setting an apple down on a piece of parchment.
“For this weekend?”
“The festival is going on at the Trevors’ place. Aren’t you going to go?”
Right. The festival. “Actually…” I tap my finger to my lip and smile at her. “I was asked to perform with Juniper again.”
Mom’s eyes light up, and she says, “Are you going to?”
“Maybe a couple of songs. I’m supposed to head over there tonight to chat with her about it.” I am excited because Juniper is doing what I started out with, singing and playing the music that lit my soul on fire. I am a country girl at heart, but I love country with a bluegrass sound mixed with almost a blues grit. It is soul-feeding music. Or at least, it feeds mine.
“Aw, honey. I haven’t seen you sing in so long. That will be nice.” She snaps her fingers. “Oh! I forgot to tell you. There was a box in the attic that Dad got down for you, some mail and things that came for you over the years.”
“Mail? Mom, if it’s older than a year, it’s trash.”
She lifts a hand. “You know your father.”
“How come you didn’t just send it to me?”
She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. “You know that light in the main hallway that’s been burned out since you were in middle school? Consider your mail to be like that light. Your dad will get around to fixing it eventually, just like he’s finally getting around to giving you your mail.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Wow, I feel special. I beat out the light.”
Mom grumbles something like, “You should,” before turning back to her cooking. I let out a contented sigh.
I want more days like this. Where my concerns lie with helping my mom with her school projects, where I can take nice walks alone on Main Street and see the fall décor take over every street corner, where I can go and meet a friend and discuss music. Where I don’t have to worry that every single person here is out to get me.
I check my watch and get to my feet. “I’ve gotta go, Mom. I’ll be back later.”
“I’ll be here.” She waves me off, and I make my way out the door, breathing in the scent of fresh fall air and deciding a nice walk into town will be the way.
16
jax
When I was a kid,the Trevors Fall Festival was the talk of the town. It was on every single person’s calendar to the point that there was hardly a single shop in town that stayed open.
Now, it was the talk of the state. It was bigger, better, and more stressful than ever.
“Whose idea was this?” I grumble after tellinganotherlittle kid that horses can’t have cotton candy. I was on my shift at the barn. I share that shift with Maverick, one of the wranglers who has worked here for a couple of years, and he laughs at my comment.
“It’s good revenue for the ranch.” He nods at a woman who is close to our age, and she blushes, making him wink.
