Almost as if he hears me, the front door to Nolan’s house opens and he steps out into the cool night. My back stiffens as he descends the stairs and holds out a bottle first to Lex and then to Gio. When he returns there’s another in his grip, held out for me. I take it.
“Beer?” I stare at the blue-and-white label before looking up as Lex straightens to his full height.
The three of them stand around me in a half circle as Nolan takes a huge swig of his own drink and then releases a long breath. “It’s been a rough night,” he admits. “I figured we could all use one.”
“Does your mom know?” I ask as Gio puts the rim of his bottle to his lips.
Nolan shrugs and turns, popping his ass on the porch next to me and letting his legs hang down the several steps to the ground. “Probably—she doesn’t drink it, but she doesn’t mind if I do so long as I don’t get a DUI or do anything dangerous.”
I finger the label. “Your mom seems nice.” She hadn’t even commented on my last name or who my dad is, though I’m sure she knows.
“Eliza’s a boss,” Gio says with a laugh as he lowers his bottle to his side. He grins at me before looking to Nolan. “Do you remember that time we thought it’d be a good idea to shove a firecracker inside old man Butch’s Chevy because he yelled at us for playing in his yard?” He shakes his head. “Tore up his seats and Eliza made us mow lawns for everyone in the neighborhood for two months to pay for it.”
Nolan chuckles and I realize what G is actually doing. He’s trying to lighten the mood, to get Nolan’s mind off the fact that his mom could’ve been seriously hurt. To remind him she’s a tough woman and this won’t keep her down for long. I close my eyes, hating what I’m about to do.
“Butch didn’t yell at us again, though,” Lex points out, tipping the neck of his bottle in G’s direction. “The old man learned his lesson.”
“Yeah, butman,” Gio groans. “Did it have to be during a record high heat wave? I came home every day smelling like ass that summer. My mama couldn’t even bear the smell of me. She wanted me to hose down in the yard before I even stepped foot in the house.”
“Maybe we deserved it,” Nolan comments.
Gio sighs. “Yeah, maybe we did.”
It gets quiet after that. Uncomfortably so. They shift on their feet and sip their beers and I can feel their attention on me. It’s now or never, I decide.
Setting down the beer, I unfold my legs from their position and slowly rise to my feet. “I’m glad your mom’s okay, Nolan,” I start.
“Juliet?” Gio’s voice wavers as he says my name. He shifts on his feet, frowning and glancing between the others before looking back at me. “What’s wrong? You sound… funny.”
Funny? Ha. There’s nothing funny about the way I sound, but I don’t say that. Instead, I maintain eye contact with the ground. It’s hard to try and force myself to look them in the face when I know what I’m about to say.
“I’ve been thinking for a while,” I lie. “And I think my uncle was right.”
“Your uncle?” Both Nolan and Lex remain silent and it’s only Gio that responds.
My throat squeezes tight around my next words as if my own body is refusing to say them. Then, I remind myself what will happen if I don’t and the constriction eases marginally, but it’s enough to get the job done.
“I want to go back home,” I say. “I don’t want to struggle anymore. This shit with Megan and everyone else in Silverwood… I can’t take it anymore.”
“Megan’s done,” G says. The sound of scraping sneakers against the sidewalk hits my ears and I lift my head, stepping back as Gio reaches out for me. His beer bottle drops from his hand and tips onto its side, the rest of the contents leaking out across the grass next to the walkway. “What the hell is going on in that head of yours, Prep Girl?”
“Baby?” I manage to not flinch when Lex says my nickname. Just barely.
“There will always be another Megan,” I say, and it’s probably the first truth I’ve said since I started this spiel. “I don’t want to have to fight them all.”
“You won’t have to,” Gio argues. “We’ll?—”
“I don’t need your protection!” I snap, cutting him off. Nolan’s dark stare remains on my face and still, he’s the only one who hasn’t spoken. I refuse to look at him even if his attention burns into my flesh. “What I need is to go back to my real life.”
“What the fuck does that mean? Yourreallife?” Gio’s brows lower over his eyes. His lips twist into a scowl. “Are we not fucking real enough for you?”
“No, you’re not.” Lie. “I want shit that you guys can’t give me.” Lie. “I want to go back to when I had everything.” Liar. Liar. Pants on fucking fire. “When no one would look down on me.”
“Juliet, are you scared about something?” Lex takes a step towards me, cutting in front of Gio. “Is there something you’re not telling us? What do you need?”
I cross my arms and curl my shoulders inward. “I need you to back the fuck off,” I snarl. Every word is like daggers scraping out of my raw throat.
Scalding hot tears burn at the back of my eyes. Surely, it’s been long enough. Morpheus isn’t stupid. He knows where I must be. Where’s the fucking car? Where’s my escape?
