Looking down at him like this, eyes roving over the wide expanse of his bare chest, shadowed by the contours of his muscles, I feel myself grow impossibly wet between my thighs. I glance over to the shoebox.
“What else do you have in there?” I ask when I spot the shiny metal sitting inside.
Lex stiffens and then a blush steals across his cheeks. “It’s not perfect…” he hedges.
“Show it to me.” Neither of us are perfect, but I want to see all that he is regardless.
His blush doesn’t deepen, but it does remain as he hesitantly reaches into the box and pulls out a small cage of metal wiring that’s thin and open on one side. A real, actual muzzle. I hold out my hand and he sets it in my palm.
“Is this for you too?” I ask.
Lex shifts on his knees, but he can’t hide the tent at the crotch of his pants. “It’s for you to decide.”
The muzzle is the same as the collar, missing a logo and brand. It must also be handmade. I don’t want to put the muzzle on him. Not yet. I have other plans for his mouth that don’t include caging it. So, I drop the thing at my feet. His eyes flash to it, disappointment and hurt filling their gray depths, but then my fingers are on his throat and he jerks up as I lace the collar around his throat.
“Leash?”
He practically dives for the shoebox at my soft inquiry. In a split second there’s a long length of leather in my hand and I attach it to the circle of metal at the front of his throat.
My lips twitch as I see the sharp and fast beat of his pulse pounding against the side of his neck. He’s flushed, sweating and panting as I collar and leash him. This big man with wide muscles and arms thick enough to break me in half if he really wanted. He’s the one giving me control.
“You—” he begins, but I jerk him forward, cutting off his words.
“Don’t talk,” I order. “You don’t talk unless I give you permission. Is that clear?”
“Ye—” I jerk the leash again, holding it high and forcing him to arch up as I raise my brow.
“That’s not what dogs say.”
A full-body tremble works through him and all at once, his muscles sag, his hands unclenching and remaining open on his thighs. His mouth opens, lips parting as he gives a low, guttural bark that is far too human for what I see in his eyes.
“Good boy.” I rest a hand on the top of his head, sifting my fingers through the incredibly soft strands of inky black.
I lower the leash down and hold it out for him. Lex leans forward, keeping his eyes on mine as he parts his lips and takes the leather between his pearly white teeth. The connection is incredibly hot. Volcanic. He’s not thinking about anything else. At this moment, there’s just me and him.
Slowly, I stand and his gaze follows. My chest rises and falls with each breath as I carefully tug off my clothes. I toss my shirt on top of his and then unbutton my jeans, pushing them down over my hips. The quiet growl of hunger that erupts from him is muffled by the leash in his mouth.
Reaching around my back, I unclip my bra and let that fall as well. When I’m down to nothing left but my underwear, I sit back on the bed and cross my legs. I cup my chin in my hand, letting the weight of my head rest there as I prop my elbow up on my knee. I watch him. Lex’s entire body is practically vibrating with the need to take over, to take what he wants. He’s fighting his instincts because he thinks I need this. The fact is, I want to feel comfortable giving him control. I’m tired. So fucking tired and I want to trust someone to take care of me for a change.
I lean forward, taking the leash from him and pulling on it. He doesn’t need to be told twice or at all. His hands hit the floor and he moves forward, on his hands and knees, his animalistic look trails up my body, over my tits and to my face. I tighten my hand around his leash and stare at him. Long coal-dark lashes lift as he returns the look.
What do you want?I silently ask him.What will make you happy?
I’ve spent far too many years trying to make others happy to no avail. I shouldn’t want to try this again. Yet, I can’t seem to help myself. Lex is different from anyone else. He doesn’t hide or prevaricate, doesn’t put his desires behind curtains and obstacles, demanding that I hunt for the answers I seek. He hands them over on a silver platter and begs me to love him.
I can’t be sure that what we have is real love. I don’t even know if I’ve ever felt what constitutes asreal. If what we have isn’t real, I’ll still shove that false love down my throat. I’ll choke on it. Kill myself with it. If it’s a deception then I’ll die by that lie.
The real world sucks anyway.
Lex nuzzles his face against my legs hard enough to make me unlink them together. Then he’s between them, sliding his big body—far too much to be a real dog—against me until I have to force my legs farther apart to accommodate him. Then he’s kissing my inner thigh and I hate that I left my underwear on even if I had my reasons.
“Wait.” He freezes and I release his leash abruptly to scoot farther back on the bed, lifting my legs to the edge until they’re spread as far apart as possible. Then, I’m moving my ass forward again, and he’s settling into his rightful place. A sigh escapes my lips as I let my fingers sink into his hair once more.
“So soft…” I murmur absently, stroking through the locks as his breath is warm on my skin, the barrier of my panties the only thing separating us. Another kiss from the man between mylegs and then a careful lick. His tongue strokes over my flesh, moving in long slow movements. Up and up some more until I can feel the heat of his panting breaths right above the crotch of my underwear.
“Juliet.” My name on his lips is a fucking prayer. To my shock, though, I find myself reacting to it before I realize what I’m doing. I pull back, reaching down and gripping his leash as I yank his head up and away from my core and then my other hand is slapping across his face, the skin of my palm connecting with his cheek hard enough to snap his head to the side. Surprised at both what I’ve done and the sting in my palm, I regather my wits in the next second and grip his chin to bring his face back to mine.
“Did I say you could speak my name?”
