“There’s no washing away the kind of blood that stains your hands when you claim a life,” I say, dropping my voice into a whisper before leaning close. “You sealed your fate when you pulled that trigger, Princess. If this is you second-guessing whether or not you belong, well, it’s too late for that.”
I grip her jaw and tilt her face down to mine. Her lips part and I lean in. The smoke flows out of her mouth and right into mine. It’s heady. It’s a connection that makes me feel both alive and almost dead. Like I’m standing on a cliff, heartbeats away from the end and yet… still fucking here.
“People are people.” Her voice is quieter than before. Almost inaudible, but I strain to listen anyway. “Blood or not… there’s nothing keeping the three of you attached to me. Everyone’s gotta look out for themselves.”
It’s strange to hear someone like her say something like that. Half a year ago, she was at the top of the food chain at Silverwood Prep. Now, she’s a Public girl. No, less than that, she’s the gutter trash of Public. Hated. Reviled. Detested. Yet, here she sits like none of that shit bothers her, joint in hand, eyes unfocused, sucking back the weed like it’s a cure all for the shitty hand she’s been dealt. And yeah, if I take a moment to actually think logically about this whole thing, the immense hatred of her doesn’t make a lick of sense.
If I can claim I’m not my parents, then so can she. Still, it’s hard to convince other people of that. With Allen Donovan in prison and Denise Donovan out of sight, that only leaves one public target people can take their anger out on. Juliet Donovan, Silverwood’s fallen princess.
And from what I’ve heard—she knew it would be coming. That’s why she joined Cory’s Gym. As smart as Cory is, he’s also got a big heart. I’ve no doubt in my mind that he’s the one that guided her through the moves she knows now—moves she wouldn’t have had to know had she been able to stay at Prep. Their battleground is far different from ours. They fight with words and insults and money. That’s not a world she belongs to anymore. But the world she’s been dropped into isn’t one she’s familiar with. She needed to learn, to study. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have survived as long as she has.
Because we, the people of the gutter, fight with our fists and teeth.
Not everyone can make a fall from grace look as fucking good as she does. Lord knows it’s obviously not easy. In a town as small as this one, everyone knows where she’s at now. No dad. No mom. Too old to go into the system. Too young to really be considered an adult. She’s slipped through the system’s cracks and is living as best she can. Day to day. Paycheck to paycheck.
If I’m being honest, it’s a shock she’s not having a harder time. A girl like her who once had everything—the best school, best food, best clothes, best car—now has nothing, and she acts like it doesn’t even matter. She doesn’t complain. She just sits there, closes her eyes, and takes another hit from her stolen joint before reopening those ocean blues of hers and holding the dying snub of what she’s got left out to me.
“Want the last hit?” she offers, and because I’m fucking stupid and I know where it will lead, I lean forward and take her hand in mine, guiding the mouth end of the joint to my lips and closing them around it before inhaling. The pads of her fingers brush against my mouth.
Our eyes lock together as I suck, dragging in the last of the drug as the red end of the joint lights up, glowing red against her cheeks before burning out completely and casting the two of us back into the place we belong. The darkness.
18
JULIET
My body is buzzing, my mind fuzzy from the weed, and I finally feel like I can breathe.
Meeting with Ma-Ri had left a bruise on my heart that I hadn’t expected it to. I’m full of unwanted emotions—anger, betrayal, pain. Yet, I can’t blame her for the choices she made because I don’t know that I would have made different ones.
Why would she choose to protect me over herself, her business, and the dozen or so women she employs?
It wouldn’t be fair.
But life isn’t fair…
I shake my head and try to drive away that lingering thought as I enter Nolan’s bedroom. My body feels leaden, but my mind is awake—a jumble of thoughts and questions that I can’t seem to stop. I stop inside the room as a warm body comes in behind me and presses against my back from shoulder to ass.
Nolan’s scent is fresh and clean—had he showered after practice? I didn’t think he showered in public places, but maybe… if the rest of the team had left before him and the guys…
My thoughts drift away again as he cups my hips and his head dips. The smell of my own weed enters my lungs as he strokes his mouth up the column of my throat.
“I won’t ask you any more questions tonight, Princess,” he whispers. “In return, I want you to do something for me.”
“Tit for tat?” I guess, my lips twitching in amusement. Maybe sex will clear out my head and make mestop. Fucking. Thinking.For two seconds. “Are you finally calling that in?”
His chuckle is a low rumble that vibrates against my spine. My nipples pebble into hard little points against my bra and shirt. “You and I both know that nothing will ever be even between us.”
Before I can respond, he flips me around and backs me farther into the darkened room. He doesn’t hit the light switch and for a moment, a bolt of fear strikes through me. Then he tilts my head up and nudges my head to the side and I release a breath.
“Is that… a night-light?” I peer at the illuminating glow from the corner of the room, half hidden by the desk he has stuffed there, but visible nonetheless.
“I don’t want you panicking halfway through me shoving my dick down your throat,” he says.
My hand slaps his chest. “Asshole.”
He backs me up several more steps until the edge of his mattress hits the back of my legs. I don’t sink down, but instead lift my face up to see his. It’s outlined in shadows so that the only hints I have are the jut of his chin and nose, the line of his jaw. His eyes glitter, the color destroyed by the lack of light but the heat no less potent.
“Do you want this tonight, Jules?” he asks. “Do you need me to give you some relief?”
