“Silly to think about it now,” I say, almost conversationally, my palms sweaty and chilled all at once. My heart is thundering in my chest, the whooshing in my ears so loud, I’m sure he must be able to hear it. “Why would you have needed to call me?” He opens his mouth, but I’m not done. I harden my voice, my words cracking out like a whip in the space between us. “After all, you were already on the phone.”
CHAPTER 10
Declan
My mind feels like a jumbled mess, but there’s one glaring thought that stands out. I don’t recognize the woman standing in front of me. The woman I married was strong in some ways, but she was more like a tree that would bend if the wind was strong enough. Her roots would never pull free from the ground, and she’d never fall, but that didn’t stop her bending to stronger forces.
I reach a hand out to her, fingers shaking just the tiniest bit, but she darts back, lips curling into a nasty sneer. My throat bobs on a rough swallow, hand falling uselessly to my side, trying to think back to that damn call.
“It wasn’t anything,” I tell her, trying to smile with lips that suddenly don’t feel like they belong on my face. “It was just a call with Silvia.”
She’d called in a panic, almost as soon as Lily left the room, telling me that my father was on a rampage because I’d actually gone through with the wedding. In his mind, all I was supposed to do was get my hands on Hi-Tech and be done with it.
Be done with Lily.
I can’t even remember what I said to Silvia while I was trying to calm her down, but going off Lily’s expression, it wasn’t anything fucking good.
“At least you’re not denying it,” she mumbles. “I wondered how cliche you would be.”
“Why would I deny it?” I ask desperately. “I’m not hiding anything, Lily. She called, freaking out about something and I was just talking her down.”
“Talking her down,” she muses. “I guess it would be upsetting when the man you’re with marries someone else.”
I jerk my chin back, eyes flaring with shock. “It’s not?—”
“Don’t you dare!” Her voice is loud as she points a shaking finger at me. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me it’s not what it sounded like.”
My eyes widen at the curse, and she laughs, but it’s a brittle sound, like she’s a gentle breeze away from shattering into millions of pieces. When her furious eyes lock back on mine, she drops her voice into a mocking mimicry of me.
“I have it all under control. Sweetheart, you need to trust me. Once everything’s in my name…” She sucks in a deep breath, straightening her shoulders and saying in her own voice, “I’ll end it.”
Fuck. “Please, Lily, sweethea?—”
“Stop calling me that!” she yells.
A flock of birds scatter, their wings fluttering furiously to get away from the noise. I look back at Lily and find her staring at them wistfully.
“You got what you wanted, Declan.” Her voice cracks, and I feel a cavernous echo of it in my chest.
“What I wanted?” I shake my head. “None of this is what I wanted, Lily!” Panic bubbles over into anger. “I wantedto stay in Hawaii. I wanted you in our home our first night back. Iwantedto speak with you, not your goddamn voicemail!” She doesn’t outwardly react, and desperation claws at me, stealing my breath. “Just let me explain. Okay? Calmly. We can go sit down and have a coffee, and just talk.”
She’s already shaking her head before I’ve even finished. “I don’t need to let you do anything.” She drops her chin, and I follow her gaze to her hands. It takes me a second to realize what she’s doing, but then she’s already got both her rings off and clutched in her fist. “None of it was real,” she says dazedly, staring down at the jewelry. “I still… I don’t—” she shakes her head, looking so lost. “I don’t get why it was necessary. Idon’t have anything to do with my dad’s business, so why did I deserve this?”
“Your dad’s business…” I echo dumbly, a feeling of dread washing through me.
“He called me earlier, told me about your deal. It’s kind of insane,” her voice is husky with emotion, "committing to a year-long relationship, amarriage, for a company you could have bought several times over.” She looks up, her features blank, like she’s not actually here.
“It wasn’t just about the company, Lily.” I take a step closer, but she backs away, eyeing me warily. “There are things you don’t know, things I haven’t told you.”
“Are you saying you didn’t orchestrate our first meeting? That you didn’t deliberately bump into me?”
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out but air. She nods, like that was the answer she needed. She looks back down at her rings, her hand shaking even as she flicks her thumbnail over the diamond gleaming on the engagement ring.
“Marriage meant something to me,” she whispers, her voice almost inaudible. Her eyes are fixed on the jewelry, but I still see the shimmer as her eyes fill with tears, and my heart skips a beat, panic building. “My mother didn’t stick around, and most marriages don’t last these days.” She shrugs, like none of this means anything, but the sniffle gives her away. “That’s reality, isn’t it? But it meant something to me, and you just…” her voice cracks as she trails off, and a cold sweat gathers in the low of my back.
My mind whirls like a tornado, flitting from word to word, trying to figure out how I can make her understand. I open my mouth, not sure what’s actually going to come out, but then she looks up at me through her dark lashes, lips pressed so tightly together, all color has blanched out of them.
“Whatever game you were playing…you win,” she states, her voice thready. “It’s done.” She throws her arms out wide, a tear finally escaping and streaking down her cheek. I watch, transfixed, as another slips free until her cheeks are soaked with her pain. “You got Hi-Tech, and you don’t have me.”
