The session ended about fifteen minutes later, with me more so dazed, because now she had me wondering if I was doing the very thing I told her I wasn’t. I liked Rennix… a lot. Did I like him too much too soon? Probably, but putting a time on things that fit the way we did was wild…at least in my mind it was.
When I left therapy I went to have lunch with Harlem while my son was with my sister. By her being done with school for the year, I had a paid live-in babysitter and I absolutely loved it. Not only that, but Cylah took being an aunt very seriously because he was her baby. She actually made plans with Adonis and had no problem sitting through the same movie over and over.
My phone’s ringer rang through my car, letting me know somebody was calling. Without looking at the screen I just knew it was Rennix. When it came to him, I had a sixth sense.
“Yes,” I answered, seeing his name on the center console.
“You out of therapy?” he asked, tone heavy like he had just woke up. He probably had, because when I left this morning he was knocked out cold, that much I was grateful for. I hated when he woke up in pain, that shit bothered me. He didn’t explicitly tell me he was in pain, I could just tell by the way he moved. It had been almost a week since his shooting and we agreed that he’d take at least a week and a half to recuperate before he started back moving around like normal.
“Yes. On the way to meet Harlem before I come home. How do you feel?”
“I’m straight. I’m about to step out with Rem for a minute, so don’t rush in.”
As soon as he said that I sucked my teeth, because he knew damn well he didn’t need to be outside right now. “Rennix.”
“What? I’m fine and I’m done taking that fucking medicine. Shit be having me sleeping too fucking much. I won’t be long.”
I shook my head at his blatant stupidity, but at the end of the day he was grown. I couldn’t make him stay in the house but I guess I could be disappointed that he couldn’t even spend a week inside after everything.
“Whatever, Rennix.”
I heard him sigh through the phone. “What, you mad at me now?”
“Nope. I’m not mad at you. Be safe.” He was about to say something, but I spoke again. “I just pulled into the lot of the restaurant, I guess I’ll see you tonight.”
“The fuck you mean you guess? Get off that bullshit, Caya.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “I’m not on any bullshit. I’m about to go eat. I’ll talk to you later, Rennix.” I parked my car and just sat there for a moment, at this point listening to him breathe before he finally spoke.
“Yeah, you on that bullshit. Where you said you was at again?”
“Minding my business. Bye, Rennix.”
He laughed dryly and I didn’t say another word.
“See you in a few.” He hung up right after he said that and I shook my head, irritated as hell. “Ughhhhhh!” I screamed aloud before finally gathering myself enough to get out of the car. It had been a while since I met anyone who could frustrate me the way he did. It wasn’t toxic or anything like that, but because I cared about him so much. That night Dimitri answered his phone and told me he had been shot had scared the hell out of me, then to walk in that room and he was laid up bothered me even more. Every time he woke up and I saw the pain in his face I felt it. I felt him. The connection we shared was so deep that itpetrified me. I had never been so interconnected to anybody like this and here this fool was, outside days after being shot.
I pushed through enough of my thoughts before finally getting out of the car and going to meet Harlem. When I walked in, she was seated at the table drinking what looked to be a mocktail peering down at her phone.
“Damn, you’re really here before me again. I even left a little earlier,” I joked, sliding into the booth across from her.
“And here I was thinking you just like being late. Because how am I here before you and I had to sneak past that man and his bad ass kids?” She laughed.
“Don’t be sneak dissing my godbabies. They haven’t done anything to you, hoe.”
“Yeah, besides take my man. Kick me in my face while I’m sleep because they refuse to sleep in their bed?—”
“Aight not too much. They’re not that bad, especially since you pregnant right now.”
She waved me off. “So tell me what had you wrinkled all up. You know I can tell.”
I laughed. “You can, can’t you?”
“Mhmm. So go ahead and order you a drink then chug it for both of us while giving me a life update.”
Funny enough I did just that, not leaving anything out. The update ranged from my therapy sessions to Rennix getting shot and the irritation I had with him going out right after being shot. While explaining my annoyance to her, it dawned on me that it wasn’t so much as irritation as it was anxiety and worry. Talking to Harlem, who let me get my entire thoughts out, was better than my therapist who seemed to only analyze my thoughts and feed them back to me.
“Your feelings are valid as fuck. But instead of shutting down, you have to tell him how you feel. Yes, he seems dismissive when it comes to himself. Shoot, every man of that caliber is. Godknows Kinga is and it pisses me off. I be wanting to swing on him every time he says some shit like, ‘as long as you and my kids are straight, nothing else matters.’I beg to differ. It pisses me off so bad.”
