“Are you ready?”
She nods and goes to take hold of my hand. After last night, I don’t pull away.
She’s quiet on the drive into town and I can’t think of anything helpful to say so I leave her to her thoughts. Breakfast is also a quiet affair but when we park outside the house she’s found, she comes to life.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
It’s just a normal house to me but to her, it’s the best she’s ever seen. Not wanting to upset her, I grin. “It’s nice, yeah.”
“Come on, you need to see inside.”
She knows where to look to use the spare key and that’s when her excitement turns into full-on euphoria.
“Ignore the furniture, we’ll get our own. I’ve already picked it all out,” she informs me. She takes my hands and drags me through to the kitchen. “We’ll have to get our own pots and pans, obviously, but I can do all that for you. You don’t have to worry about any of it.”
Before I have the chance to speak, she’s opening the back door and waving her arm for me to take in the yard.
My first thought is it’s a lot of lawn to mow but it doesn’t seem to be a problem for Annie.
“Look, we already have a swing set for the baby. When it gets old enough, obviously.” She turns to me and asks, “So, what do you think?”
Scratching my head, I say, “It’s alright.”
“You don’t like it, do you.”
The shine in her eyes dull and I start to feel bad.
“I’m just wondering how we’re gonna afford it.”
Her smile returns. “I’ll buy it.”
“With what money, Annie? You’ve already told me you don’t use your trust fund and if you hadn’t noticed, houses cost a fortune.”
Rolling her eyes, she tells me, “For my baby, I’ll use it. Besides, when I’m gone the baby will inherit everything. The house included.”
That makes sense and I nod, but it’s the anger bubbling to the surface I can’t hide. I blurt out, “How are you so calm talking like it’s normal to be dying?”
Her laughter sounds wrong. “Trust me, Shane, I’m anything but calm, but what can I do? I’ve made my choice, so all I have left is to make sure I do everything I can for our child’s future.”
“There has to be something that’ll help you!”
“If there was, don’t you think I’d be doing it?” Her anger comes through, and I step closer to her. “The only part of me I have control over is our child’s future. It’s all I have that’s not death.”
A tear rolls down her cheek, I wipe it away for her and pull her against me. I hold her in what will be our back yard, and I admit, it’s a quiet neighbourhood. It’s certainly quieter than being at the club.
“What do you need me to do?” I ask her.
“I don’t need you bringing up pointless talk about things that won’t and can’t happen. All I need is to build a future for our baby so I know what I’m leaving behind.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Annie
The club is on edge and so is Shane. I can tell by how his leg bounces as he sits talking with his brothers. He laughs and jokes but his shoulders are tight with tension. I’m learning his mannerisms fast. I tear my eyes away from him and back to the book I bought the other week.
I used to be able to read a book in a day but since Shane came into my life, I struggle to make it through a chapter. I can’t even get through one page today. My attention keeps going back to him. The club is preparing to fight the club who came through town the other day. I’ve yet to see Shane in a fight, but I’m confident he can hold his own and defend himself. Shane catches my eye and yet again, there’s no lust, only pity. It’s driving me crazy. It hasn’t occurred to him not to believe me, and I should feel bad, but I don’t. Nothing will get in my way making the perfect family. I can’t have him thinking I don’t want to be treated like a woman with needs.
Putting my book down, I cross the bar and his hand going to my lower back as I stop beside him dials down the crazy growing stronger.
