As I climb the stairs, I no longer dread the next day. I no longer envision the worst possible scenarios. I feel like me again.
Holly creeps out of Roman’s room and then checks on Rayna before closing her door and smiling at me. Her and my kids are the reason I will never make a Nora mistake again.
“Don’t think you’re getting in our bed before you shower,” Holly warns, and I grin.
“Wasn’t going to,” I murmur, reaching for her hand.
Before she sees it coming, I lift her over my shoulder and lock us in the bathroom.
“I’ve already showered!” she shrieks as I put her back on her feet.
“Won’t hurt to have another.”
Slipping out of my boxers, it’s obvious I don’t want to shower for the sake of it. She bites down on her bottom lip and flicks her gaze to my eyes.
“I don’t often say this but be quick. I haven’t slept in days and at this point, I’d choose sleep over your dick every chance.”
Instead of offending me, I laugh. “I hear ya, babe.”
Using one hand to turn the water on, I use the other to pull her against me and claim her mouth.
Yeah, this won’t take long at all.
JJ answers the door and lets me in. The house is quiet, and I almost think I’ve come around too early.
“Is Harper up?”
“Yeah, she’s in the kitchen. I’ve been trying for the last hour to get her to eat something.”
He’ll be worrying, not only about her starving herself, but the effectiveness of her meds. I walk through the house, and she’s sat at the table with her knees up to her chest. She doesn’t register I’ve walked into the room, and I make her jump when I drag a chair around the table to sit near her.
“Why are you here so early?”
“Why aren’t you eating?” I retort.
Rolling her eyes, she tells me, “Because I’m not hungry. I’ve told Jay I’ll eat when I’m hungry. He’s worrying too much, can’t you send him on a run or something.”
“Don’t be like that. He loves you, of course he’s going to worry.”
“I get that, but it’s like he doesn’t believe me when I say I’m okay. Yeah, I’m sad but who wouldn’t be? I just need time to deal, that’s all.”
“You’d be the same if it were Bonnie and Jay weren’t eating.”
She doesn’t have anything to say and goes back to staring out of the window.
“I’m angry, Leo. She had no right to kill herself in my house. The one place that’s truly been a home for me. She’s ruined it and now I’ve got to raise my son here with her ghost roaming around the place.”
“Move.”
She huffs. “Where exactly would we go? I don’t want to go back to town, and I don’t want the last empty house.”
“We’ll build another here. There’s still plenty of land to use.”
She focuses on me, and I can’t work out what’s going through her head.
“I don’t want to be in this house. Apart from Jay and Gunner, I don’t want anything inside this house. Everything is tarnished with death.”
I didn’t give a shit about Harper when it came out she was my sister, but I’ve come to care for her a lot and when she’s anything but happy, I feel it like a sucker punch to the gut.
