This day started off the absolute worst, but Dmitri came in like a shining knight.He cared for me in the most tender way, called Gage so I wouldn’t have to, and played my body like he was Bastian Crown and I was his guitar.
“You were my hero just now.”I snuggle against him.
“No way.I’m not a hero.”He sounds uncomfortable.
I snuggle tighter.“Youare.You’remyhero.”
I’ll snuggle him and thank him to the end of time, so he can see himself like I see him.I want to tell him this, but within seconds, my eyes close and I drift away, warm and safe at last.
* * *
Dmitri
My window blinds soften the moonlight, but I’m wide awake like it’s daytime.I tighten my hold around Leah’s shoulders, furious with myself.Enraged, somehow, that she trusts me.
I’m her hero?When all I want to do is push her onto her stomach and fuck her while she sleeps?I would ignore every protest, everyno, everystopshort of her safe word.I would take my pleasure.Take and take.I’d give nothing.
Most mortifying moment of my life was Granddad coming up behind me and seeing porn on my phone.I was sixteen, still figuring out my kinks, although I had a good idea at the time.
“Ropes, is it?So you are a Dominant.”Granddad walked off, nodding to himself.“Like me.Born strong.Ruthless.Made to rule.”
Once I got over the embarrassment, I could’ve forgotten the whole thing.Until I turned eighteen, and he brought me into that warehouse.Blood.Pain.Crying.The scene had nothing to do with sex, but Granddad drew the comparison for me.“You’re a monster, Dmitri.If I am, so are you.It’s in your blood.We dominate.We rule.Everything.”
Yeah.I’m no fucking hero.I dominate.I rule.I want to take and take and take.
I’m a monster, just like Granddad said.
3
Gage
I pace back and forth in my living room, cursing.Nic isn’t answering her phone.
At least I know where Leah is.The entire day, I texted and called her.I called Dmitri.Their silence caused me to fear the worst.
If only she’d stayed.We could have talked about the problem and developed solutions together.At the very least, we might have discussed strategies going forward.She’ll need to know how to avoid the press, how to extricate herself from difficult questions, and how to disguise herself or find alternate exits when necessary.The subtle art of evading bad PR has become second nature to me, but Leah has no experience in the matter.
I want to help her.
But she no longer trusts me.
Why should she, when my past has reared its ugly head to ruin her present?
I don’t blame her for running.But I wish she had told me where she was going.
The living room windows are too large, even though they’re mirrored to keep anyone from seeing in.It’s a feature of the building.To soothe my paranoia, I’ve even tried looking through the windows from the outside to check.They’re fine, they show nothing.
And yet, right now, I feel exposed.Visible.Scrutinized.
When Leah and I saw the reporters and paparazzi outside my building this morning, I struggled to breathe.My hands were shaking so hard, I had to grip the steering wheel to keep myself grounded.I hid it all from Leah, but the feelings of panic remain.
Turning off the lights doesn’t improve matters.I am an insect beneath a microscope, examined, studied.Pinned in place.
No, not pinned.I can escape.
I move to the bedroom.Here, the curtains are closed.I leave the lights off and sit on the floor.My back rests against the bed.I slow my breathing, force my shoulders to relax.
As my panic fades, a new emotion takes its place.Anger.How dare Nic do this to Leah?What gives her the right to thrust herself back into the spotlight with my name on her lips?She stole everything from me, all those years ago.Now she’s back to do it again.
