I’m not ready to open the curtains in my bedroom, but perhaps someday I will be.Many things are changing—what’s one more?
Several years ago, Margot snagged my phone out of my hand and punched in the number of her former therapist.It’s been saved there ever since.
This won’t be my first time in therapy.But it will be the first time I tackle the real issues, the ones that cause all the others.
I take a deep breath and make the call.
12
Dmitri
Monday morning, I work out, wash my car, clean my kitchen and bathroom.I toss old car magazines into the recycling bin.
I’m procrastinating.
Things with Danica are still unresolved.I haven’t talked to my parents since that meeting at their house.Danica responds to my texts with one-word answers.When I call, she doesn’t pick up.I knew going out for drinks the other night wasn’t going to solve our problems.She straight up said she was still mad.Sucks, though.I want my sister back.
I can’t put it off anymore.After throwing the final magazine into its bin, I drive to Danica’s house.
Her roommate, Elias, answers the door.He’s sporting a new haircut; his sandy blond hair is shorn on the sides, a little longer on top.It makes him look skinnier than usual.“Hey, Dmitri.”
“Hey.Is Danica around?”
“Yeah, come on in.”He steps back so I can walk inside.“D, your brother’s here!”
His shout startles a tabby cat, which had been about to scratch its claws on Danica’s grandpa-style easy chair.
“The fuck?You let Dmitri in?”Danica’s voice is muffled from behind the wall of the living room—her bedroom is the first down the hall.
“Uh…” Elias gives me an uncertain look, his eyes shifting from me to Danica’s room.
“You asshole, Elias.I swear to God, I’ll sprinkle Cackle’s dirty litter over your bed while you’re sleeping.”
Elias eyes Danica’s room, then he looks back to me.“I’m heading out.Gotta go to work.Yeah.Uh…good luck.”
He grabs his keys and skitters out the door.Fuckin’ coward.
I squat down and hold my hand out toward Cackle.He trots up with amrowrto sniff at me.Seconds later, he’s winding around my legs like I’m his long-lost lover.
Danica clears her throat, and I look up.She’s wearing jeans and a sweatshirt—Danica is always,alwayscold.Seventy-five degrees is too cold for my sister.Her blond hair is hidden under a towel.
“Hey, sis.”
“Don’t fuckinghey sisme.I’m still mad at you.What do you want?”
Cackle darts under the easy chair.Another coward.This house is full of cowards.I’m one of them.
I straighten up so I’m standing.Less easy to knock over this way in case Danica’s feeling scrappy.“I want to apologize.”
“Yeah?What for?”
Fuck, she sounds so snarky.Being on the outs with the rest of my family is painful.Being on the outs with Danica is torture.
“I’m not sorry for getting together with Leah.”I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a hundred times.
Danica puts her hands on her hips, ready to tear into me again.“But you fucking promised.”
“Yeah, I did.”I feel so goddamn defeated.I don’t want this argument now or ever.I just need her to understand.“It was a promise I made when I was in my twenties and you were a teenager.I never thought it would come back like this.I never thought I’d catch feelings for Leah.”
