The conversations in my head go back and forth and come to one conclusion. He doesn’t want what I want. I live a high-profile lifestyle in the city. And he wants to live quietly on a remote headland. It’s impossible. Even if he wants to try, in the end, he’ll just decide to leave again.
I need to protect my heart before he can shatter it into so many pieces I won’t be able to put it back together.
I’m completely overwhelmed by the pure insanity of the thoughts flooding my brain. I start throwing some of my clothes into my bag, but I’m stopped in my tracks at the sound of Drew’s knock on my door.
I have to be the logical one here and tell him we’re done. It’s the only option to save us from more heartache. I take a deep breath and pull the door open. It bangs back against the wall.
Drew’s gray eyes instantly turn from smiling to wide open. “Hey, what’s going on? Why aren’t you dressed?”
I turn and walk away, putting distance between us. I don’t think I can say what I need to say while looking at him.
I keep my back to him, but I know he followed me into the room. His cologne swirls in the breeze from the air conditioner behind him. I wish he didn’t always smell and look so good.
“Katie, why have you packed your bag when we’re here for another night?” he asks, his voice flat, nothing like it was only a short time ago.
I look down at the shirt in my hand. How did I get here? How did I turn into a crazy person just because I’ve realized I’m in love? The frenetic energy of the last few minutes seeps from my body.
I turn and look up at him. “I think I have to go.”
He comes a step closer, his arms stretching around me, and I weakly lean into him. I don’t look up; my emotions are too turbulent and raw. I don’t want him to see everything in my eyes. I don’t want him to know how fragile I feel.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much when you leave.” My eyes sting with unshed tears.
“Katie, I’m not leaving. Will you please look at me?”
I shake my head. “But you will after one night or two. Each time, it gets harder.”
“No, baby, not this time. I’m not leaving you. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. I thought you knew that. I should have been clearer. What is happening between us is so much more than sex,” he promises, and I want so badly to believe his words.
Out of nowhere, I blurt out, “I love you.” I don’t mean the words to escape my heart, but now that they have, a knot of tension eases in my chest. I know this may not be what he wants to hear, but it feels good to say it. I’ve told him exactly how I feel, and now it’s his turn.
“Katie, look at me,” he begs, and this time I can’t resist his pleading tone. My eyes slowly rise to meet his.
“Good girl.” He places his finger under my chin, and when he holds my gaze, he says, “I’m not leaving, Katie, because I love you too. I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. I love you. Please let me prove it to you.” The tears I’ve been holding back slip silently down my cheeks in a mascara-laden messy streak.
“Please don’t cry. It breaks me,” he whispers into my hair before he gently wipes the tears away with his thumb. When he’s done, he eases my head to rest against his shoulder. I can hear the pounding of his heart beneath my ear. It’s racing.
“How?” I mumble, and the word gets lost somewhere in the kiss I place in the center of his ribcage.
“What was that?” he murmurs, his chin resting on my head.
I lift my head slightly to look up at him. “How will you prove it to me?”
His chest rises with a deep breath, then falls beneath me. “Okay. For a start, I will do promotions for the book in the States, but only if you do it with me. Every book signing together. Every night after the signing together. Then I will base myself in London the majority of the time and only go remote when I’m writing.”
I squeeze him tighter to me. “You would do that for me?” My voice is soft and weak.
“Aye, my bonnie lass. I would do that and so much more.”
My heart is leaping in my chest. “I think you’ve got a deal.” Everything he just said has silenced my doubts so successfully. I believe him. And he loves me.
He grins. “Let’s seal the deal. And after, we can order room service. We can have our first dinner date another night.” He releases one arm from me, using it to shove my bag sitting at the end of the bed onto the floor. Then, picking me up, he throws me onto the cleared bedspread.
Between giggles, I ask, “Tell me again that you love me.” It’s amazing that three little words can change everything.
He leans down to untie the belt on my bathrobe and pull the edges of the fabric apart. I’m naked again. He quickly undresses too.
