I continue to explain to Cassie as best I can how the news affected me and how I wasn’t thinking clearly. Then I tell her of my time down in Florida and how the ocean helped to set my head straight again. She listens intently to me, nodding occasionally as she sips her red wine. I finish by apologizing again for not calling her and speaking to her.
At the end of my long explanation, I silently refill our glasses then just as quickly drain half of mine. I haven't a clue as to what she's thinking as I search her clear blue eyes.
“I get it, Luke. After you mentioned to me about your PTSD a few weeks ago, I read up on it a bit. I want to understand so I can help you when you need me. I want you to let me help you. Don’t shut me out again Luke.”
My heart swells with love for Cassie. Shit, that’s it, I love her. I feel like a thunderbolt has struck me. How did I not realize before now? I guess I never stopped loving her. A piece of my heart always belonged to Cassie, and I only needed to find my way back to her. Now I know for sure I love her totally and completely.
Without a moment’s hesitation, I loudly blurt out my new revelation, “I love you, Cassie.”
With a hand over her mouth and her eyes wide open, glistening with unshed tears, she says, “You’ve not said you love me before. Not even when we dated in high school.”
A tear escapes down her cheek, and I reach out to wipe it away gently.
“I know, and maybe I should have told you I loved you back then too because I did love you. I was stupid to let you go.”
Cassie smiles through her tears, her lips parted slightly. She isn't saying she loves me, but I can see it in her beautiful watery blue eyes that one day soon she will.
“Cass, I haven't told anyone before that I love them, so saying these words to you are special. But also not enough. I promise I'm going to show you that you can trust my love now and always.”
God, I think I might cry too as my heart swells.
“So now we’ve established the fact you love me, do you think we can get to the bit where you show me how much you love me?” she says cheekily.
I'm stunned speechless at how lucky I am to have this beautiful, warm-hearted woman in my arms willing to accept my love. Willing to accept me.
As I remain motionless, she surprises me again when she demands forcefully, “Like now” and pulls me toward her by my T-shirt.
Luckily, the red wine glasses are safely on the coffee table as Cassie wraps her body around mine. Her hands burying in my hair, her lips taking possession of my lips.
Submitting to her kiss, I move her fully onto my lap so I can wrap my arms around her. Pulling her close, I passionately kiss back my wild woman. This wonderful, beautiful woman who's agreed to give me a second chance.
Standing with her in my arms, I carry her down the hallway to my bed as I whisper into her ear how much I love her and how I'm absolutely going to show her how much I love her.
Over and over again.
Chapter 28
Cassie
Lyinginbed,Ifeel utterly content with my body wrapped around Luke’s deliciously naked sleepy one. Who’d have guessed today would have turned out so perfect when it started with me still angry at him. His declaration of love went a long way to healing the damage caused by his disappearance. I keep replaying his words of love. In fact, tonight, I asked him a couple of times to repeat them, and he dutifully did with actions, not only words.
My own words of love hovered on my lips. I know I love him. But I hesitated to tell him as I'm wanting to be cautious, the same old habit of trying to protect my heart preventing me from opening up to him. Even though I know my heart is definitely his.
Tonight was like a prelude to our future together, cuddling on the sofa talking through the last two weeks then getting naked and making love in bed not too long ago. Absolute bliss is my last thought as I fall asleep.
In the still dark early hours of the morning, I'm woken by Luke groaning and thrashing about in the bed beside me. I’m confused as I’m pulled from my sleep. I think Luke is having a bad dream as the sounds coming from him are terrifying.
I want to wake him and release him from the obvious pain he's in, but I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do. I say his name softly, hoping to wake him gently without scaring him even more.
Suddenly Luke shouts, sitting upright in bed. His hands grabbing at the sheets, his eyes open in terror, tears streaming down his face.
“Luke, it’s okay, you’re safe now. It’s me, Cassie. You’re okay now,” I repeat in a calm, gentle voice, not at all how I’m feeling, as my heart is pounding.
Finally, my voice seems to penetrate his trauma as Luke turns to me slowly, recognition dawning in his eyes. He covers his face with his hands, saying, “Sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry.” As he gasps for breath.
Sitting up, I reach across, removing his hands. “Please don’t apologize. You don’t need to hide from me. Let me help you.”
I don’t really know how to help him other than to hold him close, kiss away the remaining tears.
